Alpha Noah ✔️

Chapter Forty Two

Cian finally comes to sit next to me, although I'm suddenly  the one wanting space. "They wanted our positions as pure-blood immortals. We had to eliminate them to keep us safe."

"Even the ones who weren't a threat to you?" I question nervously.

"We had to make sure there were no threats," he tells me firmly, the look in his eyes makes me shiver. It's a look he would give me before he would kill me, if we were not mates. It's frightening to think about his siblings, who if they knew what I was, they would kill me, regardless of being Cian's mate.

"So if we weren't mates, you would kill me without a second thought?" I can't help but ask. It's a dangerous question, to know what could be, especially when I tell him who I have chosen. Despite the danger, I'm not going to force myself to be with him just because not doing so puts me at risk. They wouldn't be fair to either of us.

He falters.

My heart jumps into my throat, but I refuse to visibly show my disgust. "Just what I thought."

"But we are mates, which changes everything," he tells me gently, grabbing for my hands, but I pull them away, not allowing myself to be too concerned with the hurt expression on his face that follows.

"And if I were to reject you?"

"I would never hurt you, Abella." He almost sounds offended that I would even ask, until he seems to realise why, confusion and a slight amount of anger consuming his dark eyes. "But please don't tell me this is you choosing Noah over me."

For a moment I don't know what to say, until I realise it's finally time to be honest. "I didn't want it to be like this. If I could, I would take myself out of this situation so you could both be happy, I would do that."

Getting to my feet, I allow some space between us while giving myself room to pace. If I don't keep myself occupied, I'm going to get emotional. Choosing one mate over another is not something a normal person has to go through, so I can't imagine why I have to. It's not like I have anyone else to talk to about this.

"I saw this coming, you know," he whispers, eyes focusing past me, looking into nothingness. I wince at the painful tug at my heart, knowing how painful it must be to lose a mate. His pain must be heightened, considering it is my choice.

"Cian, I'm sorry, I truly am."

"He just does it better than me, I guess," he shrugs. He doesn't cry, but I see the pain in his eyes, the way he tries to hide it as he sweeps his hair back, the golden roots catching the light beautifully, another show of his immortality. "I should have never interfered with your life. I should have met you organically, and maybe you would have chosen me."

"There's been a lot to think about, but I don't regret my decision," I tell him firmly, confirming it more to myself than him.

"Of course you don't...he's the perfect Alpha, and I'm the Sin. The one no one cares about, and never will." Something gives me the feeling that it comes from a place of insecurity, and in reality, this isn't about me. He's been alive for a very long time, so I can imagine how many past lovers he has had, and how many times he has been burnt.

I shake my head. "It's not like that."

"Then what is it? Why choose him over me?" he questions, the desperation in his eyes so real and raw is has my stomach swirling uneasily.

"It felt right, being that we come from the same place, have a similar story...and we just get on so well," I say uneasily, picking my words carefully. The last thing I want to do now is to upset him. I want this to go as peacefully, and as smoothly as possible.

"That's it?"

I close my eyes, bracing my arm on an accent table pressed against the wall, "And it doesn't feel like you're ready to commit to me, to truly and utterly be mine."

"Of course I am. I would give my life for you," he says desperately, grabbing for me. I let him grasp my shoulders, maybe to steady us both. "But you're only saying that because I'm Greed. That doesn't mean I'm damaged to the core."

"I really am sorry."

"I don't know what I was thinking. That I deserve happiness," he mutters, shaking his head. I want to hug him, to hold him and make all the pain go away, the doubt. But I know I can't, otherwise I will give him the wrong idea. Instead, I gently run my hands up and down his arms, feeling the slight sparks that follow, a silent reminder of what I'm doing.

"You will find another mate Cian, you know that," I tell him, even if I know that he may be waiting for a very long time.

Cian's expression is solemn, as he looks over me slowly.

"I don't want another mate, Abella," he murmurs. "I want you."

Before I have a chance to react, he grabs for me, his fingertips brushing against my skin as the world starts to dissolve around me. That's when I realise what he is doing.

He's taking me to the immortal realm.

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Want to read ahead? Noah is now officially completed over on RADISH. Go check it out!! (:

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Cian now has his own story up in Radish! Feel free to check it out, but not before completing Alpha Noah (:

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~Midika 💜🐼