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~Kaori Is Back?! (Review)~

★ Author's Info:

🎀Username: UnknownWriter1308

🎀Title: Kaori Is Back?! [A Your Lie In April Fanfiction]

🎀Genre: Slice Of Life

🎀Sub-genre: Romance

🎀Summary:  Can you provide it to me later if you want? I can edit it up!

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   ⚛ 🎀 𝑅𝐸𝒱𝐼𝐸𝒲 🎀 ⚛

🍬~Cover:-

                   Honestly, the cover is very attractive. The colors go along and the title is visible, definitely a good shot!

🍬~Synopsis:-

                          I think there could be more organized with the sentences. Perhaps, you could aim for shorter sentences with some more insight on the twist? Moreover, book synopsis are in the third person and not first since we need to highlight the objective of your story! 

 🍬~Strengths:-

★Ideas:-

                 Kaori comes back as a ghost and embarks on a journey with unstable Kousei, who is guilty because of her death and of tearing the letter. Don't know how you came up with these but, I love it! 


★Energy:-
                Your writing style carries a passionate aura. You excel in conveying that energy to your readers and was one of the reasons why I couldn't stop reading it!

🍬~Flaws/Aspects to Improve:-

★Emotions:
                I noticed in a lot of places where the conveyance of emotions was a bit odd. Whenever you want to indicate a character's frustrations; their environment is the key. Even though it may be a perfectly sunny day, little details will throw them off: why is the photo frame out of place? Why is the cloud in such a dull shape? Why is their room so grey? Why won't their friends/family stop meddling with their business? Why won't some flowers bloom? Why is the water well watery? 

Set up a mood, pace it slowly, and show emotions. In the First Chapter;

I ran away from the funeral..."I'm sorry. I'm sorry."

My limbs moved faster than my thoughts. 'What is going on?' I asked myself. I didn't know why was there a coffin being lowered in the wet soil or why the clouds were raining along with many strangers. I didn't know why my stomach sunk at the glimpse of those golden locks. All my reflexes knew was to, get out of there. It was suffocating. 

I struggled for breath as my feet synchronized with the beating of roaring rain. 

'I'm sorry...' The three words seem to be stuck inside my head. Was I sorry? For what? A small smile cracked on my chapped lips. Underneath the rather cold rain, I shivered to the trickle of warm droplets from my own eyes. 

'Heh...' My lips quivered and I bit them slightly. I ran through the street, in the very corner of it, a bed of wilted sunflowers caught my attention. I stopped dead on my tracks, inches away from the door of my house, eyes glued to the flower bed. 

'Kaori.' My throat itched and I coughed. All of a sudden heavy tears streamed down and I closed the door behind me. Droplets of water from my hair scattered on the floor. I was crying. I didn't know why but my mind said it was for a certain person. 

'Kaori...A fallen sunflower?' Severals hic-ups threw me off of my balance and I crashed against the hard surface of the door. My head bound in my arms, I cried for the person who was supposedly...

Gone. 


A specific moment in the environment can too add to the emotional scene. A character cannot always access what is going on and they will question. Especially if they are still traumatized. 


★Relationships:-
                  I understand that MC is going through a harsh period of time. His words may be hurtful to others but you have to put more emphasis on it. Tsubaki and Kousei Chapter 3. They exchange a conversation in which I don't notice much sympathy from her. She may as well be a Tsundere yet showing some basic care instead of hiding it at times of need, which may add difficulty to the portrayal of a strong friendship. 

Similarly, the parents of Kaori tend to always take care of Kousei's breakdown. Which is great! It will although add more guilt to Kousei's side that should be shown through his various actions. 

★Basics: 
             An overall focus can be brought towards the choice of words, punctuation, and sentence structure. You can hire an Editor to go through any issues and make sure grammatical errors are at a minimum. 



★Enjoyment: 
                     Honestly, I think the originality of your plot was quite enticing and I could only bring myself to point out a few issues. Other than that, everything adds up to your unique style and I enjoyed every twist and turn in your book! You have a way of keeping your readers engaged, keep on writing! <3

★Rate: 7.5

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🍬Chapters I read: 4

🎀 -My points are based on different aspects that will help the writer grow as an individual.

🎀 -The story/book mentioned does not belong to me, all rights reserved for the author.

🎀 -This is fairly a book involved in reviewing books.

🍬Word Count: Around 850.

🍬Time: 1 hour.

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