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🍬 ~The Sun Shines Bright (Review)~🍬

★ Author's Info:

🎀Username: LilyH2110

🎀Title : The Sun Shines Bright

🎀Genre: Teen-Fiction

🎀Sub-genre : Romance and Thriller

🎀Summary : "One day, no matter how old you are, you will stumble upon someone who will start a fire in you that cannot die. However, the saddest, most awful truth you will ever come to find - is they are not always with whom we spend our lives."

Grace Anderson, 19, an orphan, grows up with her best friends, naive, sweet and innocent (that is if you do not get on her bad side ;))Ashton Meyer, 19, obviously on Grace's bad side... with both parents- healthy and very much alive, a large mansion, playboy, and a huge flirt, What will happen when she falls for him? Will one accident change their lives forever?

       🍭 🎀 ~~~~~~~~ 🎀 🍭

    ⚛ 🎀 𝑅𝐸𝒱𝐼𝐸𝒲 🎀 ⚛

🍬~Cover:- 
                     I loved the idea of your cover, it was simple and aesthetic. So, I don't have much to say about it. The title does blur out at times due to the color scheme, I would like a background image that contrasts to it!



🍬~Synopsis:- 
                              I understood the idea conveyed however, I couldn't follow up on a catch. They meet up in an accident, but how? A little sneak-peek of snarky comments and a trail to follow will surely highlight the mood!




🍬~Strengths:-

★Twists: I like the fact that you put a different twist in each chapter! It really keeps the reader engaged.

★Cliffhangers: They really do make me want to read more! Especially, the bet. Oh my god, I couldn't stop.

★Straightforward Points: I could picture that our Protagonist was more of a "let's get to the point" type. I appreciate that, you don't see much of this personality anymore.

★Eth: Does this one even need an explanation? The guy's beautiful. I would have liked to read more from his side too!

🍬~Flaws/Aspects to Improve:-

★Descriptions:- I noticed that they contained the necessary amount of details but, I would recommend additions and proofreading. For example;

Chapter 3;

"I walk towards the other side of the park...soccer balls everywhere."

I thought it was a bit lacking in atmosphere and mood, so she walked into a park. How is the breeze? At least one point of nature is to be highlighted when you introduce a new environment and one interaction. I could only imagine a bench and soccer boys. Show me how Ashton is ruining the grass, destroying the peaceful environment, who is he up against? How is Ashton missing the goal post? Where it might sound like I want you to put too many details for a small scene, I don't. Saturate the sentences!

"Ashton's leg slips over the ball and he lands straight on his back, every single time. I must say, the guy has a lot of confidence against his much taller/experienced/bulkier opponents."

When she expresses her distaste, you don't have to clarify she doesn't like him. For example;

"Ashton is surely an amusement to my bad day."


I think your sentences could use an organization and a better choice of words to hit it up!


★Thought Process of Protagonist:
                                           As much as I love her straightforwardness, she is a bit rude to even her close ones. She did say unnatural dialogues to her best friend Eth. If someone broke up and I didn't know how to comfort them, I would stay quiet and try to make things in order for them to feel better. She does not have any relationship experience, yes. But, everyone has sympathy which adds to the character.


She is annoyed all the time. I would like to see a point when she is not, a rough character sketch and a broader knowledge of your genre might help. She can be cranky, rude, disrespectful but give her little moments of joy with her friends. How she would appreciate the cupcake she got or the sleep she achieved after a long day of work. It is essential to make your Protagonist likable and natural.



★Character Personalities: They were quite unique however, the characters did not hold a personality of their own. They were confined to a specific point and acted upon it. I would suggest making characters do something that plays a big role in a story and does not match their styles once in a while, it opens a way to character development. For example, Ashton is narcissistic, I understand. There is no humor to him and a specific charm that would convert his self-love a bit amusing. Let the characters play along and decide their dialogues.


★Dialogue Structure:
I would suggest working on this aspect! Where I love the snarky comments, they tend to fall behind their actual age limits as well. For example;

"SHUT UP...OUT OF MY ROOM."

Her outrageous behavior came out of nowhere, we didn't get enough frustration period and she just blew everything on her friends. Do add aspects that make us like your character. It is not possible for someone to shout such a long dialogue in one go, it can alter the flow of your story. If you want her to get mad, give her small mad dialogues, and make her friends deflect that. Give it a time where she is overwhelmed by a sudden situation and let her have the moment. Or else, she would seem like a terrible friend. Give her friends some reasons as to why they were being rude as well.


★References:
                      The addition of some references would have broadened the imagination of your readers! It is important for the humor of your book as well. Similar to the Peach reference you used, I would recommend a much more continuous use.


★Grammar: 
                   Mistakes related to Punctuation, commas, dialogue structure, and correct term of words were visible. I suggest re-reading your works to avoid these minor mistakes as they can interfere with professional readers.


★Choice Of Words: Reading books of your genre and searching up synonyms of simple words and using them in your sentences, proves to be a rather effective technique.

★Expressions: Give your characters the freedom to smile, laugh, and pout, etc. Making Ashton smirk continuously throughout can be inconvenient. 


★Pictures:
                     I loved the use of pictures to define your characters, however, that should not excuse your own description of them. Do be aware of that! It is important to give your reader a reminder of their looks!

★Pace:
            In Chapter 5, we witness upon our Protagonist's outrageous behavior and her mood is fine within a few paragraphs, and the entire plot is again deflected to dates. If you want them to make up within the same Chapter, change the dating scheme and let them go to an amusement park. I would have loved to see a stronger bond of their friendship, the entrance of Ashton shouldn't destroy their pace but slow down Ashton's. He should feel a few obstacles, he won the bet, yes. He got the girl to go, yes. Reflecting on her personality, I highly doubt she would be happy to go. Again, rough story sketches are impervious to your flow and attraction! Just a few twigs here and there to fix the small issues.

★Plot:
       The genre you have chosen is very saturated with upcoming new ideas, so I would suggest bringing a twist and a theme to your book. Other than blind dates and bets, I would love to see some new twists. Four chapters through and I wasn't able to spot a relation of your idea and title.

★Enjoyment:
                  I enjoyed the fresh and unique idea you have got circling around! A blow of edits will bring a more professional aura to your style. I would love to see you grow and will definitely stay in contact with your book! Keep on inspiring.

★Rate: 6

         🍭 🎀 ~~~~~~~~ 🎀 🍭

🍬Chapters I read: 6

🎀 -My points are based on different aspects that will help the writer grow as an individual.

🎀 -The story/book mentioned does not belong to me, all rights reserved for the author.

🎀 -This is fairly a book involved in reviewing books.

🍬Word Count: Above 1000.

🍬Time: 2 hours.

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      🍭 🎀 ~~~~~~~~ 🎀 🍭