39. Before You Go

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Taehyung's P.O.V.

Days slipped by as if in a matter of minutes, while I fought to hold on to every fleeting moment I spent with him.

I was desperate to relish every little bit of his exclusiveness as I fell deeper and deeper into the well of wishes which would have to stay unfulfilled. Hopefully, someday those would see brighter opportunities, better fate than what awaits me. 

Jin has been acting all strong suddenly, brushing off the initial moping to suddenly act like a boyfriend. Not that I’m complaining, it just makes me feel more wistful, makes me ask myself what it’d feel like to actually go on a date with him, hold his hand in a movie theatre or take a walk beneath a starry sky, create our own family, and grow old together.

I am trying to work on something actually but my mind keeps running away to him.

A happy distraction.

“I’m going out for awhile” he spoke as I walked up to him, seeing him get ready to head out to get some essentials. Sadly I can’t accompany him due to the monitor on my ankle restraining me at home and have to wait for him to come back.

“If you need anything use the phone in the living room, it has all the essential numbers on speed dial”.

I wrapped my arms around him in a back hug and simply rested my chin on him, watching him fix his appearance. “You don’t need to look so pretty” I said intentionally ruffling his hair, unfortunately it’s Jin and turned out he looked even more gorgeous in ruffled hair. So I tried to fix it back, and he giggled confused at my actions.

“What are you doing?”

“Nevermind...you look pretty every way” I grumbled, the spiteful human in me jealous of all the people who would get to see him when I’ll be denied access to be anywhere near him, cursing at how unfair life has been to me all the time but then again I did find him in the midst of all my misfortunes.

The one dazzling moon, my solace in a life of blackened nights.

He turned about smiling widely at me, his loving heart spilling out of his gaze as he cupped my face and pressed a line of kisses all over my face. He has been so overly lovey with me these few days, a blissful time because I had him all to myself, and him pampering me with all his attention. I know it’ll be torturous to not get to live this, this tiny window of opportunity proved how beautiful it’d be to have a life with him.

How many sleepless nights had I spent weaving such blissful pictures to calm my weak raging heart? My happy distraction who kept me sane on my worst days. How many times have I dreamed of this with him? Just lazing away my days in the light of his love for me...basking proudly to show the world how lucky I am even in the midst of being pitted through the most terrible struggles!

I really don’t deserve the way he can love me...I didn’t even think it was possible to love anyone so unconditionally like the way he does...
It was wrong of me to be so selfish in my need for him..I have ruined him enough...

“You’re being awfully sweet you know...don’t do this or they’ll have to take me with you” “Like I’d let any one of those mutts even near you” I spoke dead serious as I pulled him closer to me. Venom filling inside me to even imagine anyone else’s hands on him, and had to beg my cruel possessive greed to try and act like a mature man.

“Seriously! What is up with you?”

I watched him not having an answer as he beamed at me, coiling his arms around my neck and I leaned my forehead against his “I have been thinking about something”

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