Falling slowly then all at once ( 5SOS & Ashton Irwin )

Chapter 60

Once i clean up Luke's nose mess, i turn to look at the other boys.

I say " What happened? "

Michael says " Well you see. Uhmm there was this board thing. And i didnt know he was coming and i threw it. And it happened so fast. "

I start laughing.

I say " Soo you mean to tell me you hit him in the face with something you dont even know what it is? "

Michael says " Well if you put it that way then yeah."

I say " Im putting it that way. "

Calum says " What are you doing back anyways? "

I say " Oh me and Ashton are back together. But im leaving in the morning. "

Luke says " What why? "

I say " I got one of the greatest job offers. Im going back to america to be a actor for nickolodeon. "

Luke says " We just got you back and your leaving again? "

I say " Luke its not something i can turn down! "

He says "Your so selfish. "

He shakes his head and walks out of the room.

I sigh and turn to look at the boys.

I say " Can i do something right for once? And not fuck it up? "

I turn on my heels and run after Luke. I see him walking down the hallway.

" Luke stop. Please. Im sorry. I try to make you guys happy but you have to think of me to. I understand that i fuck everything up. But i want this. This is something i enjoy. This is the thing i wanna do. Just like you being in your band means so much, well this is my band to me. "

He turns to look at me.

He says " Thats where your wrong. You didnt even put thought into this. Its not something your going to enjoy."

I say " No Luke, your wrong. I wanna be famous. By myself. Not because of you guys, not because of my brothers band. Because of me and what i do. I wanna have my own little fanbase i wanna be able to win awards. I wanna be able to do something with my life thats a adventure. Acting? Yeah thats an adventure. I think ill enjoy it. And maybe your right i wont like it. But i can give it a fucking try."

He shakes his head and rolls his eyes. 

He says " I thought you were happy here. With us. I thought you had everything you could of ever wanted. You know someone would pay millions of dollers just to be in your place for a day. How could you be that way and leave again. do you know what you already put Ashton through? His appendix sergury was a appendix surgery it was a attempt of suicide. He didnt tell you that though did he. "

I look down at my feet. I cant put Ashton through that again. Why didnt he tell me it was that bad?I thought he trusted me. I turn with tears forming in my eyes and go back into the boys room.Ashton tries to hug me. I push him off and look  at him with tears spilling out of my eyes.

I say " Why didnt you tell me. "

He says " Cailtyn calm down. Tell you what. "

I say " Your little appendix surgery. How long where you in there? Two weeks at the most? What the hell did you do to your self? "

He looks down at his feet.

I say " Look at me Ashton and answer me. "

He says " I took pills Caitlyn okay? "

I say "Because of me. God why cant i fucking do something right for once. "

I grab my red hair and scrunch it up as i cry.  I feel arms go around my waist.

I say " Ashton get off of me. "

i wiggle out of his grip. I look at him.

I say " Im not leaving you again.  It cant happen. Whats to say you do it again. And sucseed. then what? Iknow its my fault. Because i wasnt there to support you through it. Or becuse i left you again. Once you got me back. Im fucking stupid for thinking i should of left. Im sorry. "

I wrap my arms around him and pull him in. i hug him tight. He wraps his arms around me completing the hug. I set my forhead on his chest and sigh. 

He says " Hey, dont blame yourself. "

I say " But i am. You dont understand. "

He says "So your telling me you didnt try at all ?"

I say " I never said that."

He says " How many times? "

I say ' The major ones, 2. The last time one more pill. It would of ended it. "

He says " See, i think we need each other. Come on tour with me.  Please? "

I say " Of course. And i shall plan our wedding as well. "

He smiles and kisses me. 

He says " Now go find Luke and mkae up with him okay? He needs you. "

I nod and leave finding Luke.

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" Luke. Im not going anywhere. I cant leave you guys like this. I couldnt possibley leave with you hating me. And putting Ashton through that again. Or Calum. Oh and Michael. You all need me. Im not going leave a broken band behind. I just cant. "

He turns to look at me.

I say " And im sorry that i didnt even think about what i said. Or what i was doing. Your right. I was being selfish. Could you please even forgive me? "

He says " How could i leave a broken girl behind? "

I walk up to him and hug him. I hear people snap pictures and awe. I just dont care right now. I pull back and look him in the eyes.

I say "Thank you Luke. "

He nods and smiles. I giggle and we walk back to the hotel room.