The Diary of A King's Mistress

February 1st, 1668

        Now I am the title of "Queen". Even writing it feels wrong as if I am committing a crime of great price and penalty. After a battle of tears and beseeching, the King and I agreed that I would remain in my own chambers due to my inexperience and fear of 'commitment'. This entire day I had spent shaking on my throne. Not even the treasure that was brought before me had comforted me.

        People traveled from the dirtiest gutters of the world from the most splendid castles to congratulate me on the title that I was now to bare. Most young girls in a situation that I am in would be elated. Completely ecstatic and carefree and maybe even willing with the King. He was not difficult on the eyes, but to me-I saw his darkness overcome the good. His grasp was harsh as well as his words and intentions. I was unaware of this at the time, but I discovered recently that he had taken mistresses from every village and they all were killed by his command. This had caused me to cast him great mistrust. To be frank, I did not trust him much to begin...but I thought I saw him change.

        I had envisaged the wedding and the night in the bridal chamber, but it was not at all as I had expected. A man of usual cruelty was so sweet and calm. He was usually forceful and lustful, but he was tender and passionate. During the exchanging of vows I swear I saw a tear. The festivities after were quite loud and humorous. Many of the guards showed their loyalty to their King by giving him gifts. All of which were of an inappropriate variety. I was given a silk night gown by Lillian and other gowns by my new ladies in waiting. I had gained followers while stepping to the tone of my own instrument. I realized then that I had him exactly where I would need him. I needed him to love me-to see that I trust him and that I only desire him.

        I have not seen Oliver since the night we were together. I waited near the stables as we had agreed, only to discover a horse as my company. As I danced with the King as my fears began to fade, I thought I saw him leaning against a far wall. I presumed it to be my complete imagination and nothing more than the desire I still felt for him. My attention had lingered for just a moment, but in the moments that followed...I had been surprised. This man whom I despised I was beginning to admire. He did not force me as he said he would. He was chaste and considerate. Two characteristics a man of his complete reputation and experience is not known to be.

        I had spent this day shaking due to the responsibilities I was now to encounter. They would not be ones of pleasure, but ones of duty and for country and men. One of the people who had approached me was a little girl. Her hair was blonde and wavy with eyes blue like the ocean. She had made her way to me and told me she was scared for me. I had learned from a young child that the man I was now married to was a cold and heartless murderer. I had started to believe my destiny may not be so horrid. But after this information, I realized soon that my destiny would be no different than the mistresses before me...