Caught In A Dream

Chapter Thirteen

"Leave me alone. You're scaring me. Why are you following me everywhere? Can't you just let me figure things out on my own?" I slip the words in between my quiet sobs.

Xavier struts towards me and reaches over to wrap me in a hug. I jerk away. I see the sting of my rejection on his face. He's trying to comfort me, but I won't let him. He tells me, "I'm not following you, Riley. Why would you ask me something like that?"

Anger rises in my chest. Why would he lie to me? I know it's him, it has to be. I yell, "I've felt your eyes watching me! I've heard you coming up from behind me! You suddenly appear in places when you should have no idea where I am." I think about this moment. I walked a new route home from school today. I was trying so hard to avoid him. Unless he was following me, he couldn't be here.

I look around. For three in the afternoon, there is hardly anyone outside. The houses lining the street are quiet. There are only a few cars parked on the curb, all of them empty. It's just Adam and me, standing here on the sidewalk.

He narrows his eyes and begins wringing his hands together. I can't tell if he's confused, or nervous. "Riley, listen to me. I am not following you. I have no idea what you are talking about. Yes, I followed you today because you've been avoiding me. I know we broke up, but I thought we could still be friends. We've been friends for most of our lives," he reasons with me.

I can't listen to him. His words are convincing my heart that I'm wrong, but my mind is fighting. It has to be him, but my heart aches. Telling me that there's no possible way. I can't face him. I don't know what to believe, so I run.

I can feel my mind wake, before my body. My thoughts are racing, putting the pieces together. Could Xavier have hurt me? Why am I so afraid of him? I think back to a conversation I had with Audrey. She's my fierce and brutally honest friend. The urge to pee breaks through my thoughts.

I force my eyes to open and jerk myself up in the bed. Where am I? Where is all of my stuff? Whose stuff is this? I open my mouth, prepared to scream. I hear someone grab the doorknob. I quickly lay down, pulling the blankets up to my eyes. Peering over the blanket, I see a beautiful woman peek in the door. Who is that? Her piercing blue eyes look over me, believing I am asleep, and shuts the door.

I wrack my brain, trying to remember what happened. How did I get here? Suddenly, I am hit with a lifetime of memories. I shake my head, a shower of emotions hits me at once. I pull my legs to my chest and cry quietly. I'm Ashlynn. I am Ashlynn. I am not Riley. Why was she in my head? I didn't even recognize my own mom.

I still need to pee. I climb out of bed and walk to the restroom. I decide to leave the light off. God forbid, Riley appears in the mirror again. I'm insane. That's what this is. I'm losing my mind. I was remembering something. A conversation Riley had with her friend, Audrey. I search for the memory, but it's just out of my grasp.

With a defeated sigh, I fumble around in the dark, trying to find the soap. My fingertips brush what feels like the soap bottle. I grab the bottle and squirt the soap into my hands. I listen to the sound of the soap lathering in my hands and the water rushing from the spout. After a moment, I swear I can hear words. I hold my breath and listen intently. It takes only a moment before I recognize the word, 'Riley.' My heart drops in my chest and I scream.

I stand there screaming until I hear feet running down the hall. My mom rushes in, flips on the light, and wraps me in a hug. I burst into tears, feeling safe in her arms. She holds me that way and lets me cry until the sobs begin to slow and my breathing evens out.

"What happened Ashlynn and don't tell me it was nothing," she says. Her face is full of worry. It's the same look she gave me when I fell out of the tree in the backyard. She'd told me a hundred times not to climb it, but I did anyway. Once, I fell from about ten feet up and broke my arm.

I stare at her while I debate on where to begin. I open my mouth and close it, struggling to force the words out of my mouth. Finally, I tell her, "Mom, I want to tell you. I really do, but I can't."

Her frown deepens, wrinkles appear on her forehead. She says, "Ashlynn, you can tell me anything. I promise I'm not going to judge you. I love you no matter what."

Pulling her in for a hug, I say, "I know mom. I love you and I promise I'm going to tell you. I just can't right now."

Her shoulders stiffen beneath my arms, "We will talk about this in the morning. I love you." She turns and leaves the bathroom. She's hurt.

After shutting off the light, I go to my room and grab my laptop. Eric had said that a girl had disappeared not too far from here. Is it possible that the girl was Riley? I type the words, 'Missing Girl, Pennsylvania.'

About one-hundred-thousand results are found for the searches. I narrow it down, 'Missing Girl Clearfield, PA.' That narrowed it down to about twenty-thousand results. The search is too vague.

Instead of searching through all of the results, I search, 'Riley Jacobs, Pennsylvania.' I bite at my nail, anxious to see what would come up. If anything would show up really. After a moment, the results appeared. I scanned through them until I found one, 'Riley Jacobs: The Missing Girl.

I click on the result and brace myself. What are the chances that this is her? I'm so focused on the computer that I didn't notice my mom standing in the doorway. She interrupts my search and says, "Ashlynn, you have school in the morning. You need to go to bed. Remember, I'm picking you up to see Dr. Norman tomorrow night."

I stare at the floor, embarrassed that she caught me on my computer after I told her I didn't want to talk. I apologize to her, "I'm sorry mom. I was just checking on something before I went back to sleep."

"You can do it tomorrow. Get some sleep. I love you," she states before walking out of the room.

I shut down my computer, hoping she won't check to see what I was looking for, then climb in bed. I lay there for a while, imagining what the article will contain. After closing my eyes, I drift off to sleep.