NOT HIS TO CARE

11.SCARED

"What the hell?" I screamed shocked by my death.

I saw Mary hung up from the ceiling on the fan with a white duvet wrapped around her neck. Her eyes closed hanging freely like she was weightless.

I run from the door stand and hold her legs on my shoulders.

"Mary. Mary. Can you hear me?"   I said helplessly not knowing what to do.

I got up on the bed not minding to take my shoes off. Right now all I cared about that she's still breathing.

I got up to her level and loosen the knot of the duvet around her neck. She falls on my arms. I carry her and lie her down on the bed. I quickly bring my forefinger near her nose to see if she was still breathing but when she was not, I got the shock of my life.

"Mary. This is not funny. Common .you need to be ok." I said cupping her pale face.

Her neck has red marks all around it. A line of tear falls down my eyes. Guess I was too late to come here.

I run my hands on my hair pulling them frustrated not knowing what to do. She was not breathing and her posture resembled a death person. I felt my world collapsing again.

I try the last thing to make her breathe and so I bring my mouth close to hers. I squeeze her mouth open and join both of our lips to breathe in some air into her lungs. Once done I lean back and press her chest as they do on the tv. I don't know what I was doing but I wanted her alive was all I knew.

When it did not work, I joined our lips again breathing a huge amount of air inside her unmoving body, my eyes scanned her pale face, her eyes red and puffy like she had been crying for ages. 

"I m so so sorry Mary. You needed me and I was not there for you. But baby I m here right now. Common breath....breathe...fucking breathe." I furiously kept pressing her chest with both my hands, my face all sweaty and tired but most of all scared. 

I m scared to lose her again. 

Once it was to Ray but at least she was breathing and happy. That was all I ever wanted for her even though she rejected our love. If she...if she...I can't even imagine what I would do.

I joined our lips for the third time and raise up immediately pressing her chest again and again. I kept repeating everything for the nth time but it was like she had made up her mind to not come back and hurt me again. Mary had always been the stubborn one. Right now she cannot be stubborn.

"Mary. I order you to wake up. Common. Baby. Don't...don't do this to me. please I beg you, Mary." I plead in front of her immobile body pressing her chest. My hands all tired. My soul losing hope by the next second. My weak body falls on top of her clueless. My face near the crook of her neck. She smelt but I did not care. 

I...I lost her for...finally today...

I hug her body close to mine like I don't want to let her go. I m scared she'll slip away from my grasp. I m afraid to live in a world where she's not there. I had grown up having her by my side until this time. I did not care about if she loved someone and was marrying the person that was not me but if I could see her smiling and breathing was enough for me. I would have never let her know about my feelings. But guess right now I regret not ever confessing my love to her. Would she have accepted or rejected? How she would have reacted? I would never come to know the answers to these questions anymore. 

It's like I m lost. I m lost without her. 

"I love you, Mary." I let those words out of my mouth for the first time in the living world kissing her delicate hollow part of her motionless neck. 

"I have always loved you. Maybe more than my brother. I don't know but I love you, Mary. I want you to know that. I love you. I love you." I confessed my heart out resting my head on her chest as if I m directing my feelings straight to her frozen heart. 

"I love you," I uttered for the last time when I felt a hand on my back shocking me.

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I posted a new book on teen fiction. It's actually the book from Webnovel.

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Some of you wanted to read it so that's why I posted only three chapters here. If you're interested, you can read further in Webnovel. You do not have to vote on this book if u do not want. It will be taken down anyways. At least people in Webnovel appreciate it that is all for me.

That's all guys... It'll b hard for me to write in Wattpad but I'll just keep going. If you want to read more different stories by me, you can find them in Inkitt, Booknet, and Webnovel. My username is the same for all chayasreedeka. Do drop a comment if you're from Wattpad just so Ok.

The chapter was uploaded right after finished writing, so there will b errors.

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CHAYA