Chapter 29 - Sofia's Decision

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From the moment Sofia had stepped into Nihon, her sense of reality had become somewhat ambiguous. She had soon realized that she couldn't trust the tapestry of people and landscapes any longer, that what her senses perceived was not necessarily that which was. But on the other hand, there were underlying truths that had become easier for her to grasp, even, or sometimes especially, if they contradicted what she beheld. Looks were deceiving, but the reason for the deceit - be it vanity, fear, or conformity, or only mere playfulness - became all the more obvious, and it told her something that she might not have known otherwise.

She had come to understand that for some people, or in some situations, deceit became a necessity, and by now, she couldn't imagine that this had not also been the case at her old home, on the Other Side. But the unadorned lack of varnish, the very plainness, had been a more effective hiding tool than anything the people from Nihon had at their disposition. Here, the possibilities were endless, and that could be limiting.

For example, Orì's appearance told her something about her friend that she might not have known otherwise, or wouldn't have recognized so quickly. But what she also knew was that it only solved a fraction of Orì's sadness and of the loneliness that came with being Mother's daughter. Even though Sofia didn't know her own parents and had often longed for them, and for a mother especially, she did not envy Orì.

Orì, who was usually boastful and defiant, became a shadow of herself in Mother's presence, and what was worse, Sofia found, was that Mother played on it. She therefore resolved to make up for a friend's sudden timidity with her own courage. She didn't feel courageous, but if she had learned one thing in Nihon, it was that she could just make herself that which she wanted to be, even if her insides didn't match up.

She held Mother's stare without even trying to mimic her false friendliness. It was easier than she had expected. She had considered making herself taller, but she found that she didn't need it.

"What do you want?" she asked.

Mother smiled.

"You're awake, now. That's good."

"I always was," Sofia replied, though she knew that it wasn't true.

"If you say so," Mother said softly. "Well, Sofia, I need a delegation to pay tribute to the other courts before the games begin. To prepare the terrain, if you like. It needs to be a royal delegation, but I am afraid that some of the other rulers feel, well, uncomfortable around me. They don't trust me, even though there is nobody more well-meaning than myself. And dear Orì's brother, I cannot spare him at the moment."

At the mention of her brother, Orì turned pale beneath her blue glow.

"Does he -," she muttered, "does he know -"

Mother turned to her. She looked sad and resigned, as if something unavoidable but tragic had happened.

"I had to tell him where I was going, dear. And he was terribly upset when you had not come back with me. He was quite angry at me. You know how he always says I am being too lenient with you."

"He's a brute!" Orì exclaimed.

Mother laughed.

"He is a little rough around the edges. That is another reason why it is best not to send him."

"So, you want to send Orì instead?" Sofia asked.

"Isn't that dangerous?" Ami interjected.

He was trying to match Sofia's fearless attitude, but was falling a little short. It didn't matter though. Mother was clearly impressed, or maybe only amused, by their show of solidarity.

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