There's a Reason Horror Movies are Rated R

The Type of Horror Movies That Has Too Much Crazy and Not Enough Normal

"Fuckface, don't even think about it!" Freddy called back, walking through a doorway.

"Sorry, but we have a huge pervert here, and we're running low on money as it is," He explained. I quickly grabbed a fist full of rolled up twenties in my pocket and handed it to him.

"If moneys still a concern there's a Starbucks down the street. I can jog there and...please, I can't keep running from the cops. Just let me stay a few more months until I'm eighteen and have enough money for my own place," I begged. Even if they were horror movie killers, I couldn't pass this up. And they couldn't kill me. When my mother sold my soul part of the deal was I can feel any amount of pain, or even blackout, but I can't die. At least, I think it came with the deal. I've tried hundreds of different ways to kill myself, but I just can't die.

"Well..." He sighed. "Krueger, go put that scrawny dead bitch from that empty room into the basement. She's staying," Pinhead yelled to Freddy still in the other room.

"Thank you, so much. I promise I won't be a bother." I smiled as a wave of relief washed over me. Finally, a break. It might've been a very strange safe haven, but it was a start.

"Yeah, that's what those idiots said before they moved in. Here, let me help you." He reached down and picked up my bag, then gestured me to follow him and we began to walk up a flight of stairs. "Now, I'm guessing you already know who we are, since we're pretty famous." I nodded.

"So, know that Krueger and I aren't the only one's living here. That guy we were talking to that was in the living room? That's Ghostface. You know, the Scream series? The one with no plot?" I smiled and nodded again.

"Yeah, he's the pervert. I'd stay away from him, since you're a chick. By the way, I should've asked earlier, but, what's your name?"

"Cali. Cali Willow." I lied, saying my made-up last name quietly.

"Suitable name for you. Anyway," We got to the top of the stairs, then had to move out of the way for Freddy to carry a dead girl down the steps. He gave Pinhead a what-the-fuck-are-you-thinking look and continued down the steps. "We also live with Michael Myers. Ghostface is obsessed with him, supposedly because he looks like a girl. You won't find one without the other." He lead me into a room that had a big blood spot in the middle of the rug.

"Why didn't he just roll up the body in the rug?" I asked aloud. Pinhead had a disgusted look on his face and just rolled his eyes.

"Because he's an idiot. Now, I can get this thing out of here, and you'll stay in here. But, I am going to need you to help out in this place like any normal housemate would do, because even though we're good killers, doesn't mean we're better at anything but that," He explained.

"And making punchlines," Freddy was leaning against the doorway, smiling.

"Krueger, get this rug out of here, now," Pinhead demanded glaring at him. I smiled a little.

"I can do it," I offered sitting down on the bed.

"Yeah, make her do it, Pin-Cushion," Freddy said crossing his arms.

"You know, Freddy, you're a douche." Pinhead reached down and picked up an edge of the carpet. He stared at Freddy for a minute, then rolled it up.

Just as Freddy turned around to leave, Pinhead walked around him and threw the carpet into his arms. Freddy groaned and glared at him.

"Go suck a dick, Elliot." Freddy quickly moved down the stairs before Pinhead could harm him.

"Don't call me that, Krueger!" He yelled back. Pinhead sighed and turned to me. I tried to hide a smile, but I couldn't help myself. I burst into a fit of laughter.