(eventually) yours

Chapter 6

It is only after she has changed that Byleth is able to reply to Holst. It is only then that she has the clarity and peace of mind to actually sit down and write a letter, and at first, she is not sure that she has any right to reply right now. For a while there, she was not able to think of anything other than the tragedy, and when she was presented with a chance for revenge, she took it, because that was all she could think about.

She returns from that mission a different person, but for the first time in a long time, she feels like she can think clearly. Though things have only gotten more complicated and more confusing, she is at least aware of the fact that she has left a friend hanging, and that he is probably convinced that she hates him. Of course, that is not the case, and she never meant to give him that impression, but she has not felt capable of writing him a letter.

She is grateful to Hilda for explaining the situation to him, though he still thinks that she is mad at him, so that is something that she needs to clear up on her own. Even if she does not feel able to actually talk about the things that have happened to her, she needs to clear up the misunderstanding, and she wants to go back to talking about him about anything and everything else that they can.

Holst,

I'm sorry that I haven't been able to find the time to reply to you. I haven't felt like myself lately, not for a long time. I know that Hilda told you about what happened to me, and I need to take the time to properly thank her for that. I should have been the one to explain things to you, but it has been difficult for me to even think about putting it into words.

Even now, it's really difficult to talk about, so I might not be able to discuss anything important for a while. But I really want to be able to keep writing to you, because I appreciate your friendship. I'm sorry for making you think I was mad at you, because that isn't the case. I still want to keep writing to you, if you'll have me.

Yours,

Byleth

She sends it off, and in the meantime, reads over the letters that she ignored again and again. It hurts, but it hurts even more to not have anything to read, for some reason. Perhaps she is just looking for something to hold onto right now, a sense of normalcy when everything else feels like it is falling apart around her. She is impatient, waiting for his response, but even so, his responds incredibly quickly to her.

Byleth,

You have no idea how happy I am to hear from you again, and how happy I am to hear that I didn't manage to scare you off. Still, if there was anything I did to make it more difficult for you, feel free to chew me out as much as you want. Either way, I will still be here to write to you, as much as you want.

As long as you want to hear from me, then there's no way you could get rid of me that easily. Ignoring me because you need some time to yourself is definitely not enough to get rid of me. The beauty of writing back and forth is that you can take the time you need to think before you write, even if it takes a little while. Take as much time as you need to think. I'll still be here.

Sorry if that's a little too much. I'll admit that I'm not really used to giving pep talks like this, so it might come across as over the top. In my next letter, I'll have something a little less weighty to talk about, but right now, I want to go ahead and wrap this up so I can send it to you. But don't worry, I'm already thinking of plenty more stories about my academy days to entertain you with.

Or maybe I could tell some embarrassing stories about Hilda's childhood, if you feel like collecting some blackmail to make sure she keeps working.

Yours,

Holst

When Byleth finishes the letter, she realizes that she is smiling. Only a little bit, but it's nice, and she missed feeling like this. Though she doesn't have much to say in response right now, she decides to write a quick reply, letting him know that blackmail material will not be necessary. As it is right now, she has no trouble motivating Hilda by using her own means.

~X~

Excerpt from a letter to Holst, from his younger sister Hilda

I'm glad that you and the professor are talking to each other again. She has been really unhappy lately, as I'm sure you can imagine. It's hard to tell, but she's definitely perked up, at least a little bit, since she started writing to you again. I don't know if she's mentioned anything about it, but she's a lot different now. I mean, seriously, she has undergone some major changes.

I think she's still the same person, of course, but she looks a little different, and got way stronger. Nobody really gets it, I don't think. At the end of the month, she's supposed to do some important mission, because apparently this big makeover really impressed the archbishop. Things are getting really weird around here.

~X~

Excerpt from a letter to Hilda, from here older brother Holst

Even if she looks different, I'm sure that she's still just as beautiful as I remember her to be. And if she's gotten even stronger, then that just makes me want to fight her even more. Eventually, I'm going to have to find the time to pay your school a visit, so that I can make that happen. In the meantime, just keep an eye on her for me, okay? I'll do what I can to keep trying to cheer her up.