New Beginnings | Shawn Mendes

Chapter Three

As the words fall from his mouth, you see the smile that grows on his flushed face. You don't really know him, but you can tell he's a family person. 

"Do you realise you couldn't stop smiling when you mentioned her?" You blur your observation, but regret it immediately after. You don't want to sound like a creeper. "Sorry, I like to observe people." 

"Don't worry, it's sweet." Shawn tells you with a smile and then, you roll your eyes at him. 

You sit in silence for a while, you're taking it all in and Shawn waits patiently while you adjust somewhat to the situation. As much as that is possible on the first night. You catch him looking at you from the corner of your eyes, he shoots you a small smile and then, his eyes flicker around the room. You take a few breaths to calm yourself while looking out of the window by your bed. 

"I'm sorry about your father." Shawn suddenly says. 

Your eyes darts to him, but his eyes are looking at his feet, avoiding your stare. His fingers are spinning the silver ring on his finger and he's watching it carefully as he continues to turn the cold silver. 

"What exactly did Tom tell you about that?" 

"Nothing. Just that he passed away. And I don't want to pressure you. You don't have to get into details with me." Shawn's eyes find yours and he forces a breath into his lungs. "I just wanted to tell you, that I'm sorry for your loss. I can't imagine living without my parents." 

Shawn's face turns pale and suddenly he seems unsteady. You figure he's afraid of over-stepping your boundaries with his words. 

"I never thought I'd have to as early." You shrug as the pain peaks in your chest. 

You feel tears but you don't want to let them win. You fold your arms around your legs and shut your eyes for a second or two. Your body feels tense and kind of sore, probably because you're both physically and emotionally exhausted. 

You feel Shawn lean forward and place his hand on your knee. He gives you a small but comforting squeeze and then his hands slip from your body again. You look at him and give him a smile, it's not genuine but it's there. 

"So what's the plan with your move?" Shawn asks while carefully reading your mood. "Starting over?" 

"I just want to feel normal again, you know?" Shawn nods at your words. "Back home, all I am now is the girl who lost her dad. People don't see past it, they tiptoe around you, avoid mentioning certain things because they feel like you might break. It was thoughtful the first couple of months but..." As the words blur from your mouth, you shut your eyes and allow a silent sigh to escape. 

"People act different around you." Shawn mumbles and you nod in agreement while shrugging your shoulders. "I know it's the not the same as you, but people act different around me too." You smile at his comforting statement as you force a breath of air into your lungs. 

It's nice to hear that someone else know what you're going through, it might not be exactly the same situation, but Shawn knows what it's like to be different as well. He knows how it feels like, when you cannot be looked at as ordinary even when that is all you want to. 

"I just want to feel normal and not to forget him, you know?" 

"You won't forget him, he's in your heart." Shawn assures you as his eyes soften slightly. You feel a tug in your stomach when he sends you a comforting smile to cheer you up. "He's always going to be with you." 

You don't really talk much after that, you sit opposite to each other with your legs crossed and eyes shut. You can hear him breathing and you're pretty sure he hears your unsteady breaths as well.