Trigger warning: Mentions of sexual assault
It'd been 6 days since my surgery and I swear, I never once saw Camila actually go home. She'd visit me at all hours of the day, fall asleep in the chair next to my bed, and then the next morning it was like she never left. I'd see her walk past my room so many times I lost count. I think eventually she knew I was watching for her because she'd make a funny face. Everytime it was the same questions she began with. "How are you feeling? How is your pain? Can I do anything?"
She never once let the conversation turn back to her. Truthfully, I didn't know what to ask her because it wasn't like I was just going to ask "How's your fiance?" Part of me wanted to ask her if she would ever tell Luka what happened between us, but I knew if she hadn't told him yet and he didn't know, she didn't have a reason to tell him. What he doesn't know can't hurt him, right? Although this was my exact logic years ago, and that didn't turn out well at all.
"You should really go home..." I overheard Dr.Amos say to Camila.
"I'm okay," was all she said. She was definitely not. Again, I knew her well... and I knew when something was wrong.
The next time she was in my room I tried to ask her how she was, but she kept it all work related. She told me how she promised to go on a date with a patient who was 75, and how she performed a surgery on a 6 year old who got discharged today. She told me her and the nurses always sang a special song and did a special dance to the kids in the pediatric unit when they were discharged. It was a happy occasion and although they would miss them, it was always a win when a kid got to go home. I noticed she didn't wear her engagement ring, but then realize maybe that made sense if she was putting on and taking off gloves all day.
She looked like she hadn't gotten much sleep, even though I did see her physically sleep.I tried not to laugh when she fell asleep with her mouth open, snoring softly. I knew she only snored when she was really really tired and she looked like she was really really tired all the time. If I didn't know any better, I'd think she was losing weight too, but maybe I was over-reaching.
Camila's POV
I was beginning to crash, hard.
I couldn't eat, I couldn't sleep.
The anxiety made me nauseous and the only times my anxiety was quieted was in surgery. I slept only to operate. I ate only to avoid fainting in the operating room. I did whatever I could to keep going.
I was meeting Luka later in the conference room, at the hospital. I'd book the conference room for myself, but truthfully, I didn't know where else to have this conversation. "Just come home," he said and I didn't budge. "I'm not going to hurt you, you know me.." he pleaded and still, I insisted we meet at the hospital. "Fine," he sighed and hung up.
I entered the room, leaving the blinds open. When Luka entered he looked back at Dr. Amos who'd let him in and they glared at each other. Dr. Amos nodded and gave me a look that meant he wouldn't be far.
"Jesus, what's his problem?What did you tell him? He's looking at me like he wants to kick my ass.."
He took a seat at the other side of the table. I purposely move it all the way across the 6 foot table. He picked his chair up to move it closer and I stopped him.
"He probably does, to be fair."
"So you told him?" he asked.
"Told him what?"
"What do you mean, what?"
"Tell me what happened..." I said firmly.
"You know what happened, stop with the mind games," he snapped.
