Remember Me This Way

Chapter Thirty Two

"Nick...it's Aaron..."

Howie handed the phone to him. Nick swallowed back the words he was going to say and took it. He looked at his friend and realized he refused to look him in the eye. Howie's eyes would go anywhere but on Nick himself. It felt like a brick of lead had fallen deep into the pit of his stomach. He knew whatever he was about to hear, it couldn't – wouldn't be good.

"Hello?" He croaked into the phone, before clearing his throat a bit. "Hello?"

"Is this Nick Carter?"

His brow furrowed as he walked back out into the living room with Howie and Jane. He could feel nine pairs of eyes staring at him. Nick gave a silent prayer right then, fearing the worst just from the tone of the caller alone. He stared at the ground.

"Yeah, this is him."

"You were listed on Aaron Carter's contact list. I'm Dr. Branders at the Ronald Regan UCLA Medical Center. Aaron was brought in just an hour ago. He was found along side of the road suffering the effects of a heroin overdose. He was already comatose when he was discovered. I'm sorry to be the bearer of bad news..."

"Bad news...where's my brother? I'll come see him, I don't care what condition he's in." Nick answered, unable to accept what was being said.

"Mr. Carter, we did our best to revive him, but it just wasn't possible."

For a moment, Nick couldn't process the words. His heart stopped. Memories flashed before his eyes within an instant, none of them bad. He knew there were many he could think of but didn't. No, this time only the blissful, lighthearted moments passed through his mind. The visual of a happier Aaron, one with floppy blond hair, and gleeful brown eyes – only half his own size, following him around when he was only five and Nick had been fourteen.

He could see himself showing Aaron tips on performing for a large crowd. Their first tour together, when Aaron opened up for the group and Nick couldn't have been any prouder of his brother if he had tried. The two playing basketball together during one of the rare moments they were both home. The five Carter siblings, on Nick's disastrous attempt of a reality show came to mind, and the time Nick had to show him how to do his own laundry.

The memories faded, giving Nick a new mental image. One of an older, bitter Aaron after trying to revive his career by going on "Dancing With The Stars" and failing. One who got bored with his own life and money. Aaron when he would show up at Nick's doorstep begging for help once his own savings were gone and he'd gone into debt. Nick saw himself giving in again and again in an attempt to save his brother. So many times he'd tried to pull Aaron out before it was too late. Nick, better than anyone understood the path he'd been on. Even if he hadn't gone so far down the road as Aaron had.

I'm sorry Aaron.

A solitary tear zigzagged along his cheek. No others fell. He wouldn't let them. The doctor on the end was still speaking but Nick didn't hear him. The phone fell from his hand and shattered carelessly upon the floor. He could feel everyone staring at him as they waited for him to say something. For a minute or two he said nothing. If he said anything he knew it would feel more real.

"Nick..." He wasn't sure who the voice belonged to, his mind wasn't processing much right then.

"Aaron." Bile rose up in his throat. He forcefully swallowed it right back down. "Aaron...he's...he's dead."

Leslie and Angel reacted first. Both of them ran to Nick. An arm wrapped around each of them. Angel's head buried into his shoulder as her body shook. She broke down in a way Nick had never seen before from her. He understood though, despite everything he had been her twin, her other half, and now he was gone. He glanced down at Leslie who was hugging him tightly. Tears could be seen swimming in her eyes but she, like him, was fighting to hold them in. The three held each other and refused to let go.