Eros. (Benimaru Shinmon)

六 ❀

Year 195

When I lost her, she was more than a friend. She was someone that was a constant source of love and support, my reality changed. My faith was tested.

Change is hard enough when it's by choice. But by having the main source of unconditional love completely cut off, this could push me to either replace that source with a distraction or find a way to live without it.

"INORI!" a familiar voice yelled.

I remained seated at the front of my home as Konro pushed my Noren to the side. The panic was visible in his eyes-the wild eyes, pupils dilated, heart racing-it was all present. He really worried about me more than the men in his brigade. But even he couldn't get the grief from me to leave.

"Inori! I am so glad you are okay!" Konro yelled in relief as he walked up towards me and gave me a big hug.

"Konro..." I thought to myself as I embraced him back.

When he hugged me...it reminded me of the hug she would give me. The hug of gentle arms that still gives the space to breathe; the hug of strong arms that tell everything that you are - body, brain, and soul - that they are with you. I love both, the duvets and the human shields, each has their time. My eyes glimmered with watery tears and I felt as if the whole world was about to crumble. I sobbed and tears flooded like the waters rushing down from a waterfall.

"It's okay, Inori," Konro consoled, "I apologized that I had to leave you with that Infernal, what happened when we came in here?"

"I-I-I d-don't know," I sniffled, "It kind of combusted and turned into ashes, I had ran into my room and was to scared to leave."

The tears burst forth like water from a dam, spilling down my face and on to Konro's uniform as he rubbed my back to console me. I glanced through my glassy eyes to see all of his men looking at us with either sad smiles or with their heads down in anger, upset at the situation. But Benimaru, while he was leaning on my doorway's pillar, he was looking directly at me, as if he was looking into my soul....as if he knew I was lying...

Konro pulled back and smiled wiping the tears from my eyes.

"Apologies again Inori," Konro said once more.

I smiled. Konro smiled back and that hue I knew all to well came back on his face.

"Thank you Konro," I said, "I understand that you had to make a difficult decision and the choice you made was a good one."

Konro smiled and scratched the back of his head out of embarrassment.

"I don't want to hold you up," I said laughing wholeheartedly.

"You aren't holding us up," Konro replied, "But we do need to patrol considering two Infernals appeared within minutes apart."

Konro headed towards the doorway and turned around and smiled.

"See you around," Konro said as he exited my home along with his men. Well besides Benimaru. He just held his typical emotionless/annoyed face as he looked at me.

"I know you are lying," Benimaru claimed.

I turned around and walked towards my kitchen and ignored is statement.

"The true question is, what are you hiding?" Benimaru mumbled as he exited your home following after Konro.

Regardless of his wandering thoughts, I needed to focus on the pile of ashes on my floor and bury them properly.

I looked at the pile of ashes, soot-blackened area where she stood. But yet, all I could remember was the smile on her face as her human form return slightly as Soot rains down, falling past me. Her final words:

"By your hands, I'm being showered by a gentle rain...it does not hurt at all, it is not agonizing...it feels warm and loved...Thank you Inori...I knew that by going to you...I would know tranquility... I'll know peace..."

I swept up her ashes and walked to the back of my house towards my garden. As I step foot in my garden, The fragrance from the garden gently drifts through the open doors and windows creating an array of heady, floral scents in my house that changes as often as the wind does. The smell of honeysuckle rules most of the time – it's heavy, overpowering fragrance conquers all the other scents in the garden – except the old fashion mock orange whose citrus notes compete and at times, overpower or combine so well with the honeysuckle that it's hard to tell which is which.

Some smell like pure old fashion roses, some have citrus notes, some are not scented at all and to confuse the nose even more, the sweet briar rose has apple scented leaves that adds its own dimension of fragrance to the garden

Adding her ashes to the area between the Roses and Daffodils was the best place to put her.

I digged up the spot and placed her ashes along with a seed and covered the area back up. I clasped my hands together and prayed. I wanted her to know that she is loved and will always be loved.

"May you rest in peace friend..." I thought.