Kurt had been speaking to Doctor Hart for a few weeks, they had passed the issue of his parents for now, and they were talking about his need for control when things weren't going the way he planned. And why he gets to that point.
"Tell me what you do when OCD urges strike you?"
"Erm...I clean mostly, door handles, the bathroom, the kitchen, the couch cushions, I count things-"
"Why?" She interrupted him, and he raised an eyebrow as he looked at her.
"Pardon?"
"Why do you clean those areas specifically?" She aksed again with a hint of determination on her face, and Kurt shrugged his shoulders.
"That's the places most germs hide."
"Do they?"
"What do you mean?" He asked, thoroughly confused now, and she smiled gently before explaining.
"Well if you clean regularly anyway, and the whole place is clean, then the germ build up in a bathroom or kitchen is about the same as the other places in your home."
"It doesn't feel like that." Kurt admitted, and she nodded.
"So what do you think will happen if you don't clean these places, when OCD strikes?"
"That somebody will get sick, or something bad will happen."
She had a thoughtful look on her face as she sat in her chair, and folded her hands in her lap. She was watching Kurt with an unreadable expression and then leaned forward to speak to him.
"You know OCD tells us lies, it tells us that if we don't do something, then something bad will happen, but the truth is we can't control the bad things in the world, and we can't know that anything bad will happen."
"Right." He agreed.
"This is what OCD does, it makes you feel like you have to do it, to prevent something else."
"Yes."
"But, you know as well as I do, that our thoughts, or the fact that we count a certain number of times a day, can't control the environment or the world around us." She added with a hint of a smile, and that made Kurt smile too.
"Yes, I know that."
"Your rational thought flies out of your mind with stress, and it leads to OCD and anxiety."
"So how do I stop it?" he asked, at a loss of how to help with it and she gave him a sympathetic look.
"You can't actually stop it, but you can police it better, don't let it control you. If you need to cry, then cry, if you need to scream then let it out, the problem is if you keep everything in, it stresses you out more."
He thought about what she said, and then she handed him a few leaflets of paper, that had procedures he could follow when his OCD struck him. He shot her a small smile as he pocketed the papers.
"And I implore you to talk things out with your ex husband, it will help." She said as she stood to lead him to the door, and he raised both eyebrows at her.
"Tell him everything?" He asked a little worriedly bit she shook her head with a smile.
"Tell him as much as you like, but don't keep feelings bottled up."
"Ok."
xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo
Kurt had been avoiding the topic of Blaine's boyfriend for weeks now. His therapist thought it was a good idea for him to tell Blaine exactly how much it hurts to see him with somebody else, but he tried to picture Blaine's reaction. He could imagine just what kind of face Blaine would make, and he would probably tell Kurt that it wasn't any of his business anymore.
