Persona 5 Chat Fic

Titties, Bitches

(This chapter isnt a text-based one, its one where the gang is out in Mementos. Inspired by AkiTheAwkwardBean, apparently they had a dream where Joker was a girl who had massive cowtits and Ryuji went "woa look at em milkers yum" then almost fuckin died. Also since Ren is boy MC's canon name then Akira is girl MC's canon name)

"Ugh, it's so dark... H-Hey! Queen! Watch---"
*Crash!*
"Dammit! We're surrounded," Morgana said.
"Well, no duh!" Ryuji's head was still pounding from the impact of the crash, and when he opened his eyes, all he saw...

Was gigantic effing cowtits.

He had almost forgotten Akira even had tits, she always wore turtlenecks and jackets and other non-revealing stuff like that. But in the Metaverse...

Hoo boy.

"Hey! Skull! Get moving!" Akira shouted.
"G-Gotcha!" Picking up his pipe, he aimed to hit a shadow, but failed miserably.
Of course Morgana chose to take this opportunity to remind him how worthless he is.
"Oh, Skull... You're---" Morgana followed Ryuji's gaze. Oh, of course. The monkey wants the milk.
"... Nevermind. I see why you missed," Mona smirked. Ryuji scoffed in response.

The battle continued, and people were dropping like flies. Eventually, Akira had to switch out Mona and Queen to Crow and Fox. But that may have been a mistake.

"Hey! C'mon, guys! I'm the only one doing damage!"
Akira was getting pretty frustrated. Everyone was missing their shots. Although, that was because of her. "H-Holy shit..." Ryuji muttered.
"... I suddenly have the urge to paint..."
"... Pancake-sama, forgive meee..."
"HEY! Quit your goddamn muttering or we're all going to fucking die!" The three boys almost snapped out of it, until Akira dodged a shadow's attack. "... Joker, you're also bouncing," Yusuke said.
"The fuck do you mean?! I'm carrying you hoes!"
"R-Right... sorry." Akechi swung his weapon, and finally hit a shadow. A critical hit, no less. After that he went back to ogling Akira. "Hey! Crow! Do something!" O-Oh, it's still my turn! "Hm..."
Akechi tried to figure out what the shadow's weakness was, but his mind kept steering him back to Akira. "H-Hey! Were you inflicted with Lust or something?!" Joker yelled. "M-My bad..."
Without knowing it, Crow had been fantasizing about Joker. Not like he didn't do that already, though.
"Ugh. Fox! You better not miss!"
"Got it." Yusuke, being the only one able to contain his dick, killed a shadow. "Thaaannnkkk youuuu," Akira sighed. "Just one left. Go, go, go!" Futaba cheered. Surely she had noticed why the guys were missing all of their strikes.

"Okay. Rush 'em!"
Akira hit the shadow with deadly precision.
"Sweet! A crit!" Futaba cheered.
Akira was sad that it didn't last longer. She needed to take care of her frustration.
"All Out Attack! Go!"
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
After the group had left Mementos, Akira had to lecture the boys about their sucky fighting skills.
"I'm going to be completely straight with you all: You sucked more dick than a porn star in that fight."
Yusuke and Ryuji stayed silent, insulting themselves for being so lustful that day. Akechi was the only one to speak up. "I-I'm so sorry, Kurusu-san, so sorry, it won't happen again, I'm so sorry, I swear it won't---"
"Ugh. It's fine. But next time, I'm not putting any of you on the front lines!" Akira sighed. She always let herself get carried away by petty matters. These three were the strongest, she would probably put at least one of them on the front lines again.
"Hmph. See you later," Akira grumbled as she walked away.

"... Hey, you guys were staring at her boobs too, right?" Ryuji said with a grin. "How can you be so vulgar after almost dying and being yelled at?" Yusuke asked. "Hngh... Pancake-sama..." Akechi groaned.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
"Go, kitty! Goooo!" Akira had been listening in on the three boys' conversation. She would've gone back and slapped them, but she decided to let Morgana do it. "RAWWWWWRRRRRRRRRR!"
He went for Ryuji first. Of course. "HOLY SHIT---"
"TASTE THE WRATH OF MORGANA!"