Changing // DISCONTINUED

Chapter Twenty

Theme song: "The Drug in Me is You" by Falling in Reverse (Sing in Lizzy's point of view about Steve)

The picture is of her hair after getting back from the bar.

For the next few days, until the day I jump off a building, I thought about the conversation about Lucas with Mr. Crepsley and realized me as a vampire is the exact same. I reel my pray in with good looks and charm playing nice before I can get them alone. I move in for the meal, not particularly to kill but certainly taking some of a persons blood against their will is not a good way to start a friendship. Luckily I'm not looking for friends I'm looking for food. I was taken back to reality by Tommy and the rest if my friends standing around the swing I was on. I have to act depressed and distant Mr. Crepsley said, so the suicide is not completely out of context.

"Lizzy, come on we have to get to class; aren't you going to come?" Alan said nervously

"No," I said hiding behind my hair and hoodie with my head down. I brought out the same clothes I had wore right after Mom and Dads death. Black skinny jeans, band tee shirts and converse shoes. Topping it off with to loud heavy metal music and a cigarette between my teeth. I'm really just letting it burn in my mouth letting small puffs out every so often to remind them it is still there. I have a plan; every day I kick it up a notch, the first day the attitude, then hair and clothes, next the smoking, after that drinking, and finally putting my pink duct tape frenemy in my back pocket. Honestly in a sick sadistic way I like the attention they give me and the worry in the way the speak.

"Lizzy what happened to caring about school and college and a future, huh? that was like your thing: make yourself turn out good because you have a unique dream." Alan pries, he is doing all the talking because if anyone else does I lash out, irrational behavior is something I had when I was depressed for real.

"I stopped caring," I tell them in my best I-don't-want-to-be-here voice. I stomp out my cigarette butt that I only took two drags from and stood up. Then dragging Steve by the wrist towards the car.

"Where you going?" Darren called in a concern masking worry voice that I called a fake every time, but I know it is and it has to be.

"Three guesses, genius!" I shout not looking back. Making a point to kiss Steve right as we got to the car.

"Can we really?" he asked excitement in his eyes. That made me roll mine.

"We'll see," I sighed

"Yes!" he said dragging out the 's' sound and pumping his fist in the air.

"You have the easy job," I complained "all you have to do is act like it's no big thing so you can feel guilty after I jump then following my footsteps."

"Forget about that, we're here."

We run up to his room like school children on recess, it feels good to be happy and let it show I can't even smile now. As I grab Steve's hand part way up the stairs pulling him behind me going faster still. We reached the door in less than a second frantically closing the door behind us laughing and pulling each other onto the bed. I tug at his shirt indicating I want it off now.

Pulling the shirt off reveling his flat stomach I trace the lines with my finger.

"Your turn," he winks grabbing the hem of my shirt I raise my arms making it easier to come off. And we kiss, still smiling and laughing at absolutely nothing. Without thinking my hands find their way to his trousers, ha ha that's a funny word trousers, finally tossing the shorts to the floor.

"I love you so much right now," he said out of the corner of his mouth never breaking the kiss.

"Only right now?" I tease leaving the kiss to wiggle out of my jeans "Oh! I have a funny idea!" I jump over to his dresser finding paper, pen and scissors. I cut the paper into the shape of a tie and equip it with a loop and stripes. then laughing I crack open the door slipping the tie over the outside knob. We both die laughing.