Freeing or Fleeing

Chapter Three - Self Reflection

Amma

Come downstairs, I've made you breakfast.

Just below that was a picture of scrambled eggs and toast. She knows that I can't eat much when I wake up so she made the perfect amount for me. She once admitted that she missed cooking for me, so at times, when she comes over, she cooks. I chuckled a little; Amma picked up the idea of texting when you're not in the same room from my cousins. Whenever we went over to theirs, we always saw, Ibrahim, Khadra's older brother, and Yusuf texting Khala (maternal aunt) when they wanted or needed something. One day, out of nowhere, Amma started doing the same thing with me.

I checked the time and was shocked to see that I had been crying for almost an hour. I took off the abaya so that I was only wearing the Salwar Kameez and straightened out the creases with my hands. With one final check in the mirror, I made my way downstairs and into the kitchen.

"Where's Mum?" I asked as I took a seat in front of the food.

There was a glass of water next to the plate. Amma was sat on the chair opposite, on her phone until I walked in. She seemed calmer now.

She shrugged. "She left the house."

"Childish," I mumbled under my breath so she wouldn't hear.

She pushed her glasses back up her nose and watched me carefully as I took a bite.

"What's wrong with your face?" She frowned. "You're very red."

"I overslept," I lied, shoving a forkful of egg into my mouth.

"You didn't look like that before," she commented, staring at me for an answer.

"You were too busy shouting to notice."

I lowered my gaze and focused on the food in front of me, hoping she would drop the subject.

"Hmm, okay." She was sceptical but didn't push any further on the matter.

For a while, I could feel my mother's gaze on me but she didn't say a word. The atmosphere was awkward. I had finished the eggs and moved onto the toast by the time she spoke again.

"Hafeezah?"

The silence had gone on for so long that I jumped when she called my name.

"Mm?" I answered through to full mouth.

"Are you still happy here?"

I swallowed, unsure of what to say. I raised an eyebrow at her.

"What do you mean?"

"You know what I mean."

"Amma, I'm very happy, Alhamdulillah."

I could never really tell the truth to her.

"And is Eijaz still treating you well?" She continued.

"Very! He's amazing, Amma. I couldn't be happier, Alhamdulillah," I admitted.

It wasn't exactly a lie. Eijaz was very sweet and always took my feelings into account, but only when it didn't involve his mother.

"Okay." It was evident in her tone that she wasn't fully convinced.

I didn't know why she hadn't brought up the issue at hand yet. Not too long ago, she was shouting the house down and yet, here we are, not talking about it. I had to bring it up as much as I was scared of the whole topic.

"Amma, why is Mum doing this? How did you find out?"

I started moving the fork against the plate as I had eaten the breakfast. She sighed and I could feel her gaze upon me again while mine were fixed on the plate.

"I won't let it happen, don't worry," she began, "but Hafeezah, you have to try. Maybe you could be lazy when you lived with us. I am your mother; I will tolerate it but other people won't."

"Amma, I'm not lazy." I tried defending myself, looking directly at her now.

"I'm not arguing with you, Hafeezah. I'm trying to help you. You're in your husband's house now and you can't be selfish. Just do your best, okay?" Her tone was firm.

"You didn't answer me; how did you find out?" I couldn't deal with another lecture.

"Your khala told me. How dare that woman go to my sister for something like that? She only knows her because of you and she dare bring a matter like that up." Oh no, I think I brought the fire back inside Amma up.

"Khala is really close to her," I added, speaking where I shouldn't have. "But I don't know if that would be for much longer."

I spent a lot of time at Khala's growing up so I would imagine after all that's just happened, she would support me.

"I really liked your mother-in-law as well. I hope this is just a misunderstanding and that we can sort it out soon. I don't want the whole world finding out. Do you know how humiliating it would be? Your father's reputation will go down the drain. What will everyone say if they ever find out? I will speak to your father to speak to Eijaz's father and get this sorted out quickly and quietly." It was like she was talking more to herself than having a conversation with me.

I didn't know what to say but I wasn't surprised by her reaction; of course she would think about reputation out of everything she could possibly worry about. Almost an hour later, Amma headed back home and I was left alone to my thoughts. 

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A/N

Assalamu alaikum guys, so I know this chapter is kinda boring but I wanted to go deep into her thought process before I got into any action. Please do comment and let me know if you liked it or not. I can look into changing it up a little. 

Also, although English isn't Fadingscar231's first language, you can barely tell because her story Unexpected Promises is super good so far. Go check it out please.