A Disaster Waiting to Happen

Aw Hell No!

Driving home was a very stressful time in my life. I was constantly trying to figure out how I was going to explain the fight with Estella to my mom. I can't just say, " Hey mom today some bitch poured chocolate milk on me so I beat the shit out of her, buy hey I still had a great day." I mean come on really.. I don't think she'd be down for that conversation. I sure as hell wouldn't.

When I thought I was finally ready to talk to her, I pulled into my driveway and headed to the front door. As soon as I opened that door, my whole life changed. These are the times when I wish I could tell the future, because If I could I probably would have hightailed out of the state. But no, not me, I'm not Alice from Twilight and it sucks.

 "Hey mom, I'm home!" I shouted awaiting my death.

"Hey honey, we're in here," She shouted back. We're? Dad should not have been home yet. Who was she with?

When I walked in the living room I was greeted by not one person, but four. On the couch sat my mom, a blonde woman, and dark haired man. On the small love seat across from the couch sat a dark haired guy in red converse with his head down.  Then suddenly his head snapped up and I was greeted with familiar blue eyes. They belonged to no other than Chris Payton. We stared at  each other with wide eyes until someone cleared their throat.

" So now that we have you both here we would like to discuss something very important with the two of you", my mother said, " Maddie please sit down".

Suddenly I was pulled on the seat with Chris. After Chris' mom, Glenda, started talking I kind of zoned out.  I became really uncomfortable so I started moving around. Trying to squeeze next to Chris on a one-seat couch was not a smart idea on his part.

" Will you stop moving!" Chris whisper yelled annoyingly.

" It's not my fault that I'm not comfortable. You pulled me idiot" I replied back.

" Oh stop whining like such a girl", the jerk said back.

"Right just blame me Mr. Smartass"

" Stop squirming"

"Shut up, I'm trying to listen"

"You're acting like such a girl"

"That is such an offensive thing to say to girls" I then decided that biting him would be the right thing to do.

" Ow-the hell!! Did you just bite me?"

" Yes Chris I did, maybe you brain capacity can't handle that amount of information" I said in a baby voice.

"Oh it's on-"

"Are the two of you even listening!" Glenda yelled. Surprised by her outburst, we both turned and stopped whispering.

" Now, as I was saying where would the two of like to live?" Glenda asked us

Wait a sec. Why the hell is that question directed to both of us? Is mom kicking me out or something?

"Why!?" Chris asked  my unspoken question.

"Because you two are getting married!!" Glenda yelled happily.

"What!!" Chis and I yelled in sync.

WAIT. WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON?

AW

HELL

NO!

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After Chris and I got over our initial shock and had our outburst, Our parents sent us upstairs to my room so we could discuss and choose a house for us to live in. I was looking through catalogs circling with a sharpie the one's that I liked. After I got bored I threw the book to Chris and laid down to try and go on Instagram. Then I felt something touch my butt. When I turned around I saw Chris was laying his head on it. I mean I have so many pillows laying around me, but no he just has to use my  butt as a pillow. Clever move Payton. That was sarcasm, by the way. I suddenly heard a buzz on my phone.

Chris Payton would like to follow you

When I clicked on his name, I noticed that he was taking selfies of himself in MY ROOM and tagging me in them. Looks like Estella won't be the only bitch after me now, that's just great.

" Payton, what the fuck have you done? Now every girl that is following you will think that we're together and I don't want them to kill me." I still couldn't turn around fully because Mr. Dumbass still had his head on my butt.

" What? Your room has good lighting. If I want to have more bestes pictures then I have to take full advantage. Not that I don't look good in other lighting. I look good in any lighting" he said. I could hear his smirk.

" Are you stupid, there is no such thing as 'more bestes'. One does not go full on retard to try and achieve the highest superlative in the non-existing vocabulary, Chris" I said bluntly. This caused him to snap at me.

" What the fuck did you say Ryder?" Oops, I think I hit a nerve. More like cut a nerve, I think I offended his ego a little too much. Chris started to get up from the bed and I jumped up and got into a defensive position.

" Back up Payton. I know Karate, Takewando, Judo, Mixed Martial Arts, and boxing!" Who the hell am I kidding. I once got scared of a roach so bad that I would not go in the bathroom for two weeks after my dad killed it. Chris started walked towards me slowly and I was really fucking scared. He looked slightly murderous.

" Hey look don't you just love this house Chris.? I'm just going to show Glenda downstairs OK?" And with that I made a run to my door and down the stairs to our parents.

Once I regained my breath, I showed the parents the house and they said that we would move in, in a couple of days. After my long and depressing talk with the parents, I cautiously made my way to my room and opened the door. Chris was no where to be found.  I headed to the bathroom to check and when I opened the door, I was greeted by a bucket of water.

"CHRIS!!!! WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU? THIS ALREADY HAPPENED TO ME TODAY!!!" If looks could kill, Chris would be 6 feet under ground right now. This asshole had the nerve to laugh at me. Not only was he laughing, but he was bending over holding his stomach with tears coming of his eyes laughing.

" GET OUT NOW!" By now he realized that I wanted to murder him, so he made is way towards my bedroom door still laughing, might I add. I closed the bathroom door and sat down on the counter. I realized that I learned three things:

1. I am never wearing this shirt again.

2. Living with Christopher Curtis Payton was going to kill me.

3. I had a mysterious bucket in my room.

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There you go here is Chapter 3

Your welcome and I know that you love me.

Thank you for reading

-Lauryn