Crown of Iron (Book 1 of the Crown Trilogy)

Thirty-Eight

Leif's jaw drops and he breathes, "How? Why?"

"I'm guessing Micah thought it was the last place she would look, and according to the journal, heirs should become acclimated to it. Micah and Esmeray were exposed to the stones as infants, and apparently so was I."

"Shit." Leif leans back on the sofa again, staring at my leg.

Kyron runs his hand over his face and releases a long breath. "You can't give it to her."

I drop the hem of my nightgown. "I'm not going to just give it to her."

"What do you mean?"

As I waited for them to arrive at my quarters, I spent the time alone playing out all the possibilities. I can't have someone here remove the stone. Word would surely get back to Micah. The army's surgeons were a possibility, but what's to say I hand the stone over to Esmeray and she doesn't let me or my father leave. That leaves me with one option.

"Once Esmeray lets my father leave Stigian, I'll let her surgeons remove the stone."

Kyron leaps from the chair. "That's insane; you've completely lost your fucking mind, Raelle! Not only will she destroy us all if you give it to her, but she will not let you go. She very well could have you killed on the operating table, and Micah's line will die with you."

"I'm going to have to agree with Kyron on this one," Leif says, crossing his arms over his chest and glaring at me like my words are a personal attack on him.

"We will still have time to overthrow her before she harnesses its full potential; she will need to acclimate to it again," I say, with desperation saturating my voice. Time is running out for my father, and I need a sign that I have one ally in the fight I'm about to face.

"Listen to yourself!" Kyron bellows. "You're willing to risk every single person in this kingdom for one man."

"Yes. Yes, I am!" I wince at my words and the weight of their selfishness crashes down on me. I can hardly catch my next breath and the lack of oxygen makes my head swim.

Stupid. Everything I'm saying is so selfishly stupid. I want my father back, but I shouldn't sacrifice my entire kingdom for him. Every time we move forward the path is riddled with curves and bumps which are impossible to navigate. I can't see the end, and only desperate measures seem to make sense. We can speed up the prosses of saving my father and still have time to face the consequences.

But if we fail... it will mean the end of my kingdom.

Kyron looks up at the ceiling and takes several controlled breaths. "I love Abrum too, Raelle. I'd give my life for him, but—"

"Don't. Don't say it. I know. I should have a limit to what I would do for him."

I shake my head, walking away from the fireplace to the French doors leading to the balcony. Wrapping my arms around my waist, I concentrate on the orange, pink, and purple of the early morning sky. I wish I was like the sun, my path clear no matter the clouds or the wind or the tilt of the earth. I'd rise and fall every day and no one would fault me.

My voice of reason doesn't see an ounce of practicality in my plan. And my champion—the man who will stop at nothing to save my father—has met his limit. Not even the knowledge that the very stone which caused him so much pain is draining my father can make him budge. I have no choice but to stand idle and bear the guilt that I could not save my father without risking my people.

Running the back of my hand over my eyes, I say, "I'm sentencing him to death."

I catch Kyron's reflection in the glass as he shoves his hands in his pockets and paces the length of my sitting room. "We will find another way," he says.

It's clear by the tone of his voice that he believes his words are true, but I can't stop the scoff from escaping my lips. "I don't see how. Her army is stronger, and she holds all the cards in this game. It feels like we have to fold before we've ever placed a bet."

Leif and Kyron exchange mumbled words, and Leif walks to the door. Before he walks out, he says, "Just get some sleep, Elle. You've had a long night. We can figure it out later when we all have clear heads."

Keeping my eyes on the horizon, I purse my lips and nod.

The door closes and slow footsteps move in my direction. "I'm sorry I raised my voice. It was uncalled for, and I let my emotions get the better of me. I understand how important Abrum is to you, but you are just as important. And not just to this kingdom but to him...to me. I won't let you risk yourself. And I know Abrum wouldn't want that either, Raelle."

"Thank you for your input, General. I'll take it into consideration."

He places his hand on my shoulder and guides me around to face him. "Don't do that; don't put on the future queen facade with me."

"It's not a facade; it's who I am. And I'm always going to fight for what is right, and this is a just cause. She has taken enough from our people, and she can't have him too."

Kyron watches our fingers as he laces them together and runs his thumb over my betrothal ring. I hate the hurt in his eyes and the way his throat bobs as he swallows past the pain. If it is not a war keeping us apart, it will be duty. And duty will give way to sacrifice. Every sacrifice will take a piece of him and me until nothing it left. It's hopeless. Everything between us is so fucking hopeless.

He clears his throat and says, "I see you. I believe in your cause, and I'll fight for it...fight for you to the death." He raises his gaze to mine. "I may not be able to place a symbol of my adoration for you on your finger, but I can make you a promise. I'll stop at nothing to bring Abrum home. You won't go alone; I'll always follow."

"Kyron, if you are caught—"

"I know what I'm risking, and the sacrifice I will make is insignificant compared to the one you make every day." He cups my cheeks and wipes away my tears before they trail down my face. "I'll need a couple of days to put a solid plan together. We'll do this together in a way that ensures you don't have to give away another piece of your soul."

"Kyron—"

He holds my cheeks with steady hands and my eyes with a dark searing gaze. "My mind is made up, princess. You're not the only one who can be stubborn."

"All right." That's all it takes to let in cool, refreshing relief. I've never been in this fight alone, but I always felt the responsibility of leading it. The burden is no longer mine to bear alone. I have a partner, a general to lead my war.

"Now it's time to sleep," he says, taking my hand and leading me to my room.

As he pulls back the sheets on my elevated four-post bed, I remove my robe and settle under the plush blankets. Kyron leans in, gently kisses me, and steps away. I grab his hand before he can leave.

After everything I've learned about the Sacred Gifts of the Statera, Esmeray, and myself, I can't stand the thought of being alone. I fear the thoughts of what will come will consume me before I fall asleep. Not only is my body exhausted so is my heart and spirit. I need Kyron to ground me with his strength and let me find comfort in his arms. Only his presence can refuel me.

"Please stay," I say.

He glances around myroom, and when his eyes return to me, he nods and removes his jacket and boots.I lift the blankets, and he crawls under and pulls me against him. Our arms andlegs tangle, and I nestle my face against his chest. I take a deep breath andbask in his scent. His warmth and power engulf me and help me surrender to myfatigue, knowing when I wake, there will be new challenges to overcome.