Ansh simply can't navigate logic between the coiled grooves of his brain. Sometimes he wishes to be a woman and other times, he wishes to transgress boundaries of gender and become a synthesis of all the mistiness he feels inside. Feeling entirely...
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/ /The End//
As fireworks erupted, Ansh watched with amazement the colorful esplanade in the sky, finding himself giggling when his favorite colour blue exploded into dust.
He heard Vinodh's gruff and impatient footsteps, step on step, up on the terrace and finally right behind him.
"Hey", Vinodh whispered, his warm breath minting on Ansh's cold skin. Vinodh's touch reminded Ansh of smoke wreath into rings.
Ansh was still unaware of what was in Vinodh's heart but a lot of sensuality and blushing was involved mutually in their interactions, so he hoped, it wasn't all unrequited. Ansh wished Vinodh would be forthwith about his feelings. But, anyone who knew Vinodh would understand his non-verbal divulgences for the most part, not always. Vinodh's usual abeyance didn't relieve him of his doubts.
"What's your favorite color?" Ansh asked curiously glancing over his shoulder to gauge Vinodh.
"Whatever you're wearing." Ansh laughed heartily, hands on his chest and crouching a bit. Ansh turned, only to catch a faint semblance of a smile on Vinodh's face. Only the fourth time he had seen that smile ever since they came to know each other.
"I like you, a lot." Ansh answered nodding his head purveying emphatically that whatever he was feeling was more intense that what he had accounted for earlier. This was a fresh confession. Ansh never shied from showing who he was even when he was scared. He was impulsive, in a way. And, such spontaneity had obviously caused him problems in the past, but he was hoping that this one time, it would relieve him of the burden of his feelings and utilize this moment as his final act of yearning before he would move on.
Noticing the underlying conveyance of defeat, Vinodh asked, "Are you giving up on me?"
"Should I not?"
"It's too late now. It might not seem like it, but I've come to care about you a lot and..." Vinodh was barring the distance between them until he stopped right a foot length's away from Ansh.
Vinodh liked Ansh for a while now, but his normal avoidant tendencies were like police-imposed barricades, if he removed them, he feared retaliation from the police for disobedience. Vinodh knew that their relationship could never materialize into a full-fledged and stable relationship, there were too many social and emotional barriers. Thus, Vinodh preferred to continue his barricades. Still, Vinodh felt like the world could cut him slack, because he had been good. He'd been kind. He did things like streaming obligations he had no choices in. Exercising full will, one time in his life, specially when he felt so strongly about Ansh, he could act on it. He would act on it.
Vinodh drew his body closer, and reached the pad of thumb on Ansh's face tentatively while watching Ansh's eyes which were reflecting fireworks, "May I?", he finally asked eyeing Ansh's fleshy and mauvish sporting lips.
"Yes."
* * *
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Author's Note: My aro-ass is sitting here and typing all of this while feeling all cringed. I don't know how other aro writers do this (arodynamics) It's official, I suck at plotting and even more so at writing. Thank you for choosing to read this. Thank you for reading this to its end. I hope all of you noticed the ways in which intolerance manifests towards the LGBTQ+ members, in India. All gender-queer identities are largely grouped as one and labelled as 'transgender', although, that shouldn't be so.
Non Binary Myths~ -that 'they/them' are always the preferred pronouns -that they have to look androgynous to be considered one -that they have to dress to look like one -that they're not real and are silly -that they're not offended when you misgender them
