Blurb/synopsis:
Samantha is clumsy, quirky and known to cause trouble where ever she goes. She is loyal and loves her childhood best friend June. When the two finally become high school seniors Samantha couldn't be more excited.
When June doesn't come to school Samantha becomes worried. Sam's parents think she worried too much, until June's parents confirm that she's missing. The town small is in a big chase. Where is June? The police think she's run away but Samantha knows that very unlike her friend. When everyone else has given up hope Samantha fights harder.
Can Sam find her missing friend? Who is the sexy new history teacher who knows a lot about June and seems to know where she is? Will he be her first kiss?
Who is future? Why did June have books about them? Is Sam in over her head? Explore with Samantha as she asks herself: How far would you go for friendship?
《my |official|review》
THE BLURB
It's a mess.
1. You HAVE to use punctuation. You need a lot more than just periods. You need commas.
2. What's up with all the questions at the end? You only have to ask one, and that one is the kicker. Only 1. As for the questions, they go from, pretty good questions to wait... what? Kind of questions. Like for instance: "will he be her first kiss?"
Um, whoa! I sure hope he won't! But if that's where you're going with your story, you foreshadow it. "Are feelings starting to develop?"
3. Going back to number 2, if you're going to name this teacher, you can't just throw him in at the last seconds. Actually, scratch that. Take out the entire question part. I'm trying to think of a better more compressed way to write it.. but it's a bit tough. So just cross it all out.
The premise of it all is pretty strange. So if you miss a day of school, you're automatically missing? I see what you're going for, but the execution isn't good. Maybe explain that she never misses a day. Maybe she doesn't text Samantha like usual. Explain that this is abnormal, and she has a bad feeling.
SPELLING/GRAMMAR
Had a lot of grammar mistakes darling. You neeeeed to use commas. Commas, are, short, pauses.
They can restructure and entire sentence. Try saying this out loud:
Yes grammar is important
Yes, (short pause) grammar is important.
Which looks and sounds more professional?
Alsooooo, you write like you talk. Thats not good. Well actually, I'll say this. You can use 'talking' words like OMG and amazeballs. But you can't "talk" when you right. For instance;
"Nooo"
No! That's why we have punctuation. So that you can stay proper but have a little fun with it.
CHARACTERS
I. LOVE. YOUR. CHARACTERSSS!!
Lupita was a gREAT face claim! She is 100% gorgeous. Your characters had volume, definition. They were hilarious and interesting! I was 100% involved.
THE PLOT
I do like the plot. The best friend goes missing, she has to fine her. It's sinister, a bit cliqued, but then again, everything is cliqued. The way that she knew June was kidnapped was a bit childish. Like, kids get sick of course. It's a bit silly. Maybe... maybe she doesn't text her in the morning like usual. Or something. But the fact that she knew she was missing because she was under the weather offsets the book for me.
THE STORY FLOW
It was more of a cutsey story than an enticing thriller. It was kind of child like with a lot of the dialouge and I would've thought the protagonist was in the 5th grade. Maybe make her a bit more mature!
《my|overall|review|》
I don't think it had the aura you were looking for. Then again, I don't know, but it feels amateur. I'd be willing to do a full synopsis, meaning I'll go chapter by chapter and help you with everything specifically. For free. Normally I'd charge, but I feel bad for making you wait to long.
You're gifted and interesting. Don't stop writing, okay?
Hope I helped! Let me know what you think in the comments and ask any questions needed.
Chai! ✌💖
YOU ARE READING
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