Loving Elijah McCay

Vol. 1: Twenty-Two

The title seems fitting for our friendship.

The shorter girl, whose features drastically match Elijah's, is the first to jut her hand toward me, ready to introduce herself. "I'm Jennifer, but you can call me Jenny." She pushes the blonde toward me, who looks a little hesitant to come towards me for whatever reason.

"And this is my girlfriend, Taylor." Taylor finally shakes my hand, and grants me a small smile.

And after meeting the two of them, majority of my awkwardness seems to float away. They're very easy people to feel comfortable with.

KJ has still yet to introduce himself, and I wonder if for whatever reason—he doesn't like me very much. And I'm beginning to realize, that I don't think I like him very much either.

The five of us, find a bench just beside a cotton candy booth, and right to the left of a popcorn machine. My senses intensity with all of the smells overwhelming my nose. And I make a mental note to grab a bag of popcorn before I leave.

Elijah sits beside me, and the girls takes the opposite side of the bench, leaving KJ to sit beside me.

In the corner of my eye, I can see that he's rolling his, fingers dropping his cigarette on the ground, and loudly stomping on it before sitting.

"So, Gage," he begins, and I grant him with my full attention, trying not to let my distaste for his attitude to outshine my gratitude for everyone else's kindness. "How did you meet my buddy here?"

I think of the moment at the candy store, the night of Terrance's party, and my freshman orientation, which was actually the first time we ever officially spoke to one another.

I settle with the candy store moment, hoping Elijah follows suit. "Well, I was just getting candy one night from some local store, and we ran into each other—"

"Oh, you ran into each other?" Both of KJ's eyebrows raise on his pale forehead, and my cheeks flush when I realize he's mocking me.

"Y-Yeah, we ran into each other."

Elijah finally jumps into our conversation, brilliant eyes rolling in annoyance. "Leave him alone, KJ." He says, not bothering to look up from his cellphone.

I look over to Taylor and Jenny, only to find them in their own little world, whispering sweet nothing to one another, as KJ continues to interrogate me.

"And how long have you known Elijah?" He stares for a moment too long, and I can feel the panic rising in my chest.

The stuttering never stops. "I-I um, it h-hasn't been that l-long—"

"KJ, walk with me." Elijah abruptly stands from his seat, jaw clenched with a lot more than just annoyance this time. He stuffs his cellphone into his pocket, and walks off with a smug looking KJ.

Once the two of them are out of sight, my heartbeat finally begins to slow.

Jenny leans away from Taylor, coming in close to say something. I lean in to meet her halfway, waiting for her to speak. "He isn't always like this, you know? He just doesn't do well with newcomers."

I want to make a joke about how someone could have warned me, but technically Elijah had in the car. I had just hoped he was joking. "Yeah, I can see that." I laugh.

She sends a sorry smile, "but for what it's worth, you seem like a cool guy. And I hope you've been taking care of Eli, while he's been in Chicago."

I frown mildly. "What do you mean?"

She shrugs, fingers tangled with Taylor's, who simply watches our conversation flow. "After everything happened with his mom and dad, he's been in kind of a rut. And he hasn't been answering anyone's messages or calls. It was a miracle we got him to hang out today. Even if it meant driving all the way out here to Chicago, to check on him."

I nod understandingly, happy that Elijah has people who would do something like this for him. And I realize that I would the exact same for Rick—as he would for me. It's what you do for the people you love.

She leans back over to Taylor, the two of them getting lost in one another again. And I take it upon myself to stand, and find something to preoccupy myself with.

I stop at the popcorn stand, ordering a small bag of kettle corn, and a light soda. The popcorn isn't as good as expected, but while holding it, I realize that I won't look as silly as I did, when I was empty handed.

I wander for a little while longer, making my way over to the photo booth. A couple cones emerging out, smiles on their faces. I watch as the strangers walk away, as happy as can be.

Without a moments hesitation, I slide into the booth, paying for a basic set of pictures. Of just myself, my popcorn, and my soda. And I assume that this is as good as tonight can get.

The sun begins to set, as the photos are being taken, and I laugh at my own ability to spice up lonesome photos with weird facial expressions.

I swipe the photos from the slot, and just as I'm about to pull the curtain back, two people leak themselves against the photo booth, engaging in conversation.

I halt, listening intently when I recognize one of the voices to be Elijah. Where had he been all this time?

"KJ, seriously, don't be a dick, he's just trying to have a good time." Who was he talking about?

KJ laughed spitefully, and I could almost hear my heartbeat in my ears. The fear of getting caught eavesdropping clear in my overworked chest. "He's trying to have a good time with you, Eli. Don't act like you didn't see it. He was all batting his eyelashes and shit."

"He was not."

"Oh, please—I could clearly make out his heart eyes whenever he looks at you. Oh, Elijah, please fuck me!"

A lonesome tear slipped down my heated cheek, as I waited for Elijah to say something—anything. And when he did, my heart officially stopped it's beating, effectively skipping a few. "Oh, come on, as if that would ever happen."

His words remind of what he said at the diner, and the tears never stop coming. "Stop crying, stop crying, stop crying." I whisper to myself, shoulders heaving in regret.

The two of them continue on, speaking on the fact that Elijah and I would never happen, and that I'd just kill to have a moment with him. A moment of weakness, where he would look at me, and say the words that I'd always dreamt of hearing him say.

I like you, too.

They laughed about that, too. And although Elijah never insinuated his own crude comments, he laughed along with KJ, as he seemed to know things that I had never, ever said to anyone else.

Maybe my facial expressions had been too pure, too open—and Elijah knew how I felt.

I was so humiliated, the tears never stopped falling. And when the two of them finally walked away, I let the sobs seep out from between my parted lips, hugging my knees up my chest with frightening might.

I'm not sure how long I stayed in that position. How long I allowed myself to cry over someone who would never look at me the way I looked at them, over the fact that he could laugh about it with his friends.

And I wondered if that was the only reason he brought me here—to break my heart.

I reached into my pocket, dipping into in search for my cellphone. My fingers dialed that same number I was always familiar with.

And I prayed he would pick up.

And of course, he did.

Rick seemed surprised at the sobs leaving my throat, voice firm on what was going on, and why I was crying so hard. "Gage? Gage, what the hell is going on? Why are you crying?"

"R-Rick, I need your help, could you come pick me up?"