Now That You Are Here

I Lied To You

"Well, I really have to go pee."

"Do you want me to help you?"

"That would be wonderful. If it isn't too uncomfortable for you."

"No, not at all."

"That's right. We're dating, and you've told me everything."

"I really want to apologize for my earlier actions."

"I don't remember them."

"Yeah, I know, but I still feel bad."

"Help me go pee, and we can talk."

So Brixton does just that. It's a difficult process because my leg hurts like hell and my ribs are practically screaming at me, but I somehow get to the bathroom. Not somehow, it's all thanks to Brixton. He's a good guy, knowing him for the past couple of hours. I wouldn't mind going on a date with him. Brixton helps me sit back down gently in the hospital bed and gives my hand a squeeze.

"I've told you everything about me. I wasn't open and honest when I first met you. I want to have that chance now. I did some really shitting things to you, kitten."

"Kitten?"

"Your old nickname."

"I like it. What did I call you?"

"Brixton mostly. But brown eyes and idiot were you two top favorite nicknames."

"I like brown eyes. Anyway, go on with what you were saying, brown eyes."

"I don't want you to be treated that same way I treated you before. I lied to you. I lead you on. I pushed you away. I was rude. I was an asshole. I lied to you about Houston. I didn't tell you that he's my fraternal twin."

"How was I so oblivious to that? You have the same fucking last name."

"I don't think that matters now. I just want to apologize for my previous behaviours that you don't remember."

"Well, thank you, Brixton, but you seem like a really good guy. I'm taking this as a new start. I might remember, but if I don't I think that I'll want to maybe be with you anyway."

"I am too. I would love for you to give me another chance."

"So we are on the same page. We'll build a more trusting relationship. I think that's great, and it'll be a little weird, but I definitely want that with you. For some odd reason I feel connected to you."

"You were in love with me. I'm still in love with you. I don't know if that has anything to do with it. We went through some things together, and you know more about me than anyone to ever exist. I'm glad you're giving me another chance."

"I am too, even though I don't remember the first one."

"Are you feeling okay?"

"I'm a little disoriented and confused about everything because I'm supposed to know all this stuff, and I don't. Decker-"

"Dexter."

"Yeah, Dexter. He kept telling me stories, hoping I remember, but I don't. You did too, but you were accepting of the fact. He just kept getting frustrated with me. It's frustrating for me already, and I feel incredibly guilty for not remembering. Dexter wants them back all the way and so do I, but I don't know if that's ever going to happen."

"I think they don't want you to feel left out, but in doing that, they are making you feel excluded."

"Yes, yes, yes. I'm thankful, but I don't think I'm ever going to remember. I'm worried they won't accept me as I am right at this moment."

"You would be wrong about that. They want you to get better."

"It's not like I'm sick, I just can't remember. I feel broken though."

"You aren't broken at all. You aren't alone either. You have me without a doubt, every single second of the day."

"I can't believe you were an asshole. I find that to be a total lie."

"Oh, I was an asshole. Totally an asshole, but I'm trying."

"You're doing really well so far, brown eyes."

"Thank you, kitten."

"Should I purr for you?"

"God, I missed your fire."

"Don't you want to fuel it?"

"If you continue this, I just might."

"I'm not scared of you, Brixton."

"I'm terrified of you, kitten."

Brixton leans closer to me and places a kiss on my lips. Instead of feeling creeped out by the fact that he's kissing me, I love it. His lips feel so good against mine. His scent wraps around me, and he smells like home. It's cinnamon. I love cinnamon. Why do I love cinnamon? Is it because of Brixton? His fingers wrap through my hair, and a familiar feeling rushes over me. A safe feeling. When he pulls away, a smile falls onto both of our faces. Brixton tangles his fingers in between mine.

"Would you want to sleep with me? Not sex, but um, lay next to me?"

He nods his head and makes sure that I'm truly okay with that. I give him enough room to climb in with me, and he wraps me up delicately in his arms. We talk about other things, besides me not knowing anything about us, and slowly Brixton falls asleep. The nurse comes in about twenty minutes later trying to kick him out, but I don't let him. 

I want Brixton here. He must have meant a lot to me before all of this, and if being near him makes me happy, then no one is going to stop that. I'm the one with a thousand (exaggeration) injuries right? Soon, I close my eyes, soaking in Brixton's natural warmth in the cold and dark hospital.