Now That You Are Here

Shut Up and Smile, Mother!

"Yes, I am. I am your daughter. I came out of your uterus."

"That doesn't mean we're family. We might be related biologically, but you mean nothing."

Brixton calls us from the kitchen once again.

"Why are you here?"

"To get you back on track. Shut up and smile, Reign."

I rub my forehead in frustration, but I listen. I listen because that's the only way I can make her proud. I'm just a doll for her to move around. My father hasn't even said a word yet.

"So, Mr. Henderson."

"Fine, Reign. I was forced along here, so...I don't even want to be here."

"No uncomplicated visit from you?"

"You don't deserve one."

I don't say anything else. I don't know what to say. I block them out for a second, letting Brixton and her have a conversation. My dad only sipping his hot coffee.

"Reign."

"Yes?"

"How's everything going?"

"Fine. I'm doing well in school and with friends and I have a wonderful boyfriend."

Brixton smiles down at me, pressing a kiss to my temple.

"Have you told him about your whorish days?"

"Me losing my virginity doesn't mean I'm a whore."

Ms. Henderson turns her attention towards Brixton.

"You probably met with a one night stand."

"Actually, no. We were at a party though."

"And she wasn't having sex with anyone yet. Wow. That's unheard of from her. How about you? What's your body count?"

"You can't just ask his body count! He's a stranger to you!"

Brixton gives me a hard, surprising glare. What did I say? What is going on?

"He's a piece of meat, Reign. We just talked about this."

"He's not a piece of meat, he's a human that you should treat with respect."

"I don't like how you are treating me!"

"I don't like anything about you. You walk into my home, automatically judging everything I do and then you treat my boyfriend like he doesn't even have feelings. What's wrong with you?"

"Reign Luna Henderson! Remember your place!"

"My place in a family that you claim I'm not a part of?! Shut up and smile, mother!"

"Oh, you bitch!"

"Get out of my house and don't ever fucking come back."

"I'm not leaving! Not until you fix your attitude!"

"Get out or I'll call the police! Now! I want you both out!"

With fury, my mother slaps me hard across the face, screaming to me about how worthless I am. Tears sting at my eyes, but I hold my head up high. This is my home. She has no place here. With gritted teeth, I answer her slap.

"Get out."

I push her towards the door, but not with too much force. My so-called mother and father gather their belongings and make their way out of the door. I turn towards Brixton, and he looks just as mad as my mother. I don't know what he's mad at, but all I want to do is collapse in his arms. 

I try walking towards him, but he takes steps away from me. His arm swings around and the coffee mugs smash onto the ground with a shatter. The piece of scattering. I gasp and run to go pick them up, but my hand is but on the broken glass.

Brixton doesn't even try to help me. He just backs away.

"Goddamn it, Reign! Why do you treat your parents like that?"

"Treat my parents like what?"

"You have no idea how lucky you are to have parents in the first place. Parents who just want the best for you. I know for a fact that some people aren't as lucky. Dexter's mom. Nick. Nick's parents disowned and kicked him out because they found out he was gay. You are an idiot. You are a horrible person. You can't talk to your parents like that. They only want what's best for you."

Brixton's fuming by the end of his rant. He turns to go back to the front door, following my parents footsteps.

"I'm not their daughter, Brixton! Did you even hear a fucking word they said?"

"They were doing it for your benefit!"

"What the hell!? They aren't! They are doing it for theirs! I cannot believe you are taking their side. They come into my home, tell me I'm not their daughter, treat you like shit, bitch about how horrible my apartment is, and more. Do you really think that's for my benefit?!"

"Yes, okay! I do. Because they are giving you the truth! Maybe I am a distraction! Maybe they are right!"

"Don't let them get to you! They do that all the time!"

"I have to go. I can't be in here with you!"

He gathers his things, not even stopping to put on his shoes. He opens the front door, anger raging through him.

"Wait, Brixton!"

"What? What more do you want me to say?"

"I'm sorry I hurt you. I thought I was-"

"I'm not the one you should be apologizing to, Reign. I don't want to talk to you right now. You're ignorant to what you have. You have parents. You're fucking lucky that you're parents are still together. They might not be ideal, but you can't talk to them like that. You are being such a child."

A child? He called me a child! I'm not a child.

The door slams behind him, leaving me alone in a cold apartment. Blood gushes down my hand. It didn't take long for the heartbreak, the heartache, to come. It was like a red hot coal was placed on my chest, and it was made to burn. Burn me from the inside out. 

I already knew that it would not cool quickly like a coal in water. It would throb and torture me in all waking hours. The look on his beautiful face would leave me torn for days to come. For months to come. If this was the end. I don't want this to be the end when we both had just started.

With sadness filling me, I pick myself off the floor. I go to the sink and run my hand under the cold water, tears of the same fervor dripping down my face. I look around the darkened apartment, closing the blinds even more to not let the light in. Just for one day I'm not going to see the outside world. Just for one day I'm going to let in all out in the dark and tomorrow I'll let it go. Feel it for one day and then go numb.

The deep breaths I take don't release the sensation in my chest.