Killer Kisses // h.s au

epilogue

Epilogue

Trees were painted amber, a wild gold as if each individual leaf had been doused in honey. Many had already detached from the tree branches holding them captive, piles upon piles accumulating at the trunk below. Dusk was beginning to settle, ebony blacks oozing into the sky like ink spilling on a page. It contrasted so bewitchingly with the deep hues of red and purple coalescing with rich navies. The crested moon lurked above, resembling a twisted grin. Rays of light bled through the wispy clouds, kissing the glossy stone I sat in front of.

I lowered the bouquet of fuchsia roses in front of the stone, shadows dancing across it from the flickering candles scattered upon the grass. I sat cross-legged, fiddling inattentively with the crimson ribbon wrapped around the stems of the roses. My gaze trailed across the writing engraved into the stone, and already, the tears were beginning to pool at my waterline.

"I'm so sorry," I whispered, fingertips reaching out to lightly ghost over the stone, "This is all my fault."

I sniffed loudly, rubbing the tip of my nose with my knuckle. Salty tears began to stream down my face, dripping off of my jawline. I didn't bother to wipe them away.

"I thought about you again today and I, well, I thought you deserved a visit. I'm sorry I didn't come earlier. I'm sorry it took so long. I just...it's just..." I began to fumble with my words. I inhaled deeply, eyes shutting briefly as I composed myself. "It's just been so difficult for me, and I've only now managed to really push myself to do it, you know? Every time I think about you, the only memory that seems to stay is the image of Boss pulling a trigger to your head. And all because of me." My voice trembled, a new array of tears creating a glistening trail down my flushed cheeks. "I love you. I love you and I'm so sorry I didn't visit earlier. I'm so sorry for everything. Please don't be mad."

"You doing okay?" the boy questioned me softly as he sat down beside me, knee skimming mine.

"Yeah, I'm alright. I just feel like such a horrible person for not coming to see him sooner."

"You're not a horrible person! It's been difficult for you, and I am so immensely proud of you."

I smiled weakly as I glanced up to study his eyes. They were drowning in sorrow and unconditional adoration for me – that alone was palpable simply from his admiring gaze.

"Thanks, Harry. How's your chest wound holding up?"

He unbuttoned his flannel to reveal his naked torso. A large, crater-shaped scar was located near his left nipple, just above his heart and underneath his tattooed collarbone. It had become whiter since the last time I saw it; it looked like it was getting better.

"It looks pretty good," I voiced, stroking it with my thumb.

"You don't think it's ugly?" he sounded almost surprised, "You don't think I'm ugly?"

I jolted as if been electrocuted, staring at him in disbelief. "No! I could never find you ugly, Harry! In fact, I love it," I leaned forward on my knees to kiss it gently, leaving a ruby lipstick stain behind. "I look at it, and I remember how close I was to losing you for good. How, if Boss had aimed a little lower, I'd have never seen you again. That thought terrifies me more than both you and I can even fathom. Losing you would mean I lost everything I ever cared about. I'd have to visit you like how I visit my dad," I motioned my hand towards my father's grave in front of us. "And I couldn't live like that."

A huge smile spread across his face, teeth glistening. "You saved me, Bambi."

I moved my body so I was sitting in between his legs, lying back against his chest. "I could say the same about you."

We sat in silence for a long, long while, until the wax of the candles had melted out and the only source of light was the moon above us.

Harry was the first to break it, sighing loudly next to my ear. "I'm so relieved Boss didn't hurt you. And I'm glad you passed out before you saw Niall shoot him and almost paralyse Ace. You've seen too much death in your short life, Bambi."

"I was an assassin, Harry, it was my job to not only see death, but inflict it," I reminded him. "Death never used to scare me anyway. I didn't care when other people died, and I didn't care if I died."

"What changed?" he asked, twirling a strand of my hair around his finger absentmindedly.

"I have something to live for now," I smiled, craning my head around to face him.

"And what's that?" he enquired obliviously.

"You, you fucking idiot."

The End.

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