My Everything • LS

three

**Louis's POV**

"Mum I think I'm just going to go to bed now" I told my mum as we stepped through the front door after spending the day with our grandparents.

Before walking up to my room, I gave mum, lottie and fizzy a kiss on the cheek. they were already half asleep so they didn't really register what was going on. Trying not to wake the girls up mum whispered a "goodnight boobear" and I turned around and made my way upstairs.

It does bother me sometimes when she calls me that but I don't say anything because she loves it so it doesn't matter.

Making my way to my bed, I plugged my phone in by my bedside table when it lit up from a text from Harry. I smiled when I saw his name and opened the text sitting down on my bed.

Hazza 💚: Hey Louis, how are you? x

He always sends kisses after his messages, I find it quite cute to be honest , I imagine he does it with everybody.

Me: oh hey harry, I'm doing fine I guess. what about you?

Hazza 💚: that's good :) I'm doing alright too thanks x

Hazza 💚: I was just wondering if I could ask you something x

Me: yea sure what's up

Hazza 💚: ok I'm just going to go ahead and say it...

Wow it must be serious. I can tell he's nervous. It may not seem obvious to others but I know my hazza very well. He took a while to send the next message, as if he had to keep rewording it which was beginning to make me nervous.

Hazza 💚: well we've been friends for a while and I guess I've kinda developed these feelings for you... I was just wondering if you maybe felt the same way? x

To say I was shocked would be an understatement. that was most definitely not what I was expecting him to say. I had no idea what to reply saying. I was completely stuck.

Does he really have feelings for me? Honestly I've had a major crush on him since we were young. I had come to the conclusion, that I was planning on sticking to, that it could never work between us.

I didn't know how to reply, I couldn't say no that would break him, but I couldn't say yes because... well I just couldn't despite the fact that I really did like him .

No longer able to fall asleep, I decided I'd go for a walk even though it was 8:48pm and it was already getting quite dark. It's January so it gets dark pretty early. But I wasn't bothered about that at the moment I just needed to get out the house and get some fresh air.

'This is just for the best' I kept telling myself so I wouldn't break down. I knew there was no way we could be together no matter how much we both wanted it.

That's one of the things that broke me most. I now knew that we both wanted to be together but I couldn't tell him we couldn't be.

It suddenly occurred to me that tomorrow was Monday and I'd have to be around him, considering him, niall and liam were my closest friends. How would I be able to talk to him knowing that I'd just basically rejected him.

I came to the conclusion that I'd have to avoid him so it wouldn't hurt him as much. Then hopefully that way he will be able to get over me. I really didn't want to have to do this but it just wasn't possible for us to be together. I'll never get over him I know, but I don't want him to be suffering as well.

Looking back at my phone, I realized how long I'd been out, I decided to go home as it was almost quarter past 10. I walked home as quickly as possible, when I did arrive home, I went straight to bed.

An hour later and I still can't fall asleep. Tears stained my cheeks and my eyes swollen and bloodshot. I cried myself to sleep that night.

...

The sun shone brightly through the gap around the curtains. I groaned and turned over to look at the clock on my bedside table. My eyes widened and I almost fell out of my bed. It was already 8:30am. Class was starting now. I completely slept through all three of my alarms!

I ran over towards my cupboard looking in the mirror of the cupboard door, my hair was a mess, my eyes still red and puffy.

Eventually, after rushing to get ready and skipping breakfast to avoid further delay, I got to school only 20 minutes late for class. It was a good thing we don't live too far away from the school.

The day moved very slowly, avoiding eye contact with as many people as possible, especially Harry. Lunch was slightly awkward but I still had Liam and Niall to talk to. It was only 10 minutes into lunch when Harry got up and left, he never came back. Normally I'd be the one to go after him to make sure he was ok, but I wasn't able to do that right now. I had no idea why he'd left and curiosity began to take over me.

After school, I spent the day in my room talking to Lottie about her day which was unsurprisingly a lot better than mine and doing homework. A few hours later I got a text from Niall asking if me and Liam wanted to join him and Harry at the football game tomorrow. After pondering  for a while, I decided to go to avoid suspicion and I couldn't punish myself forever so going out with my friends wouldn't do to much harm.

With that settled, I went to sleep early that night as I didn't have Harry to text until 3 in the morning. I already missed him and it had been 1 day, I had no idea how I was to survive this.