HONESTLY

Secrets

FROM: Nate Stanton

SUBJECT: Please give to Nicky

I slowly plunked down on the end of the bed and started to read:

I tried stopping the car back at the school, but your driver kept going. I know how much I hurt you that night. I'm not going to waste my breath and tell you I'm sorry, again. We've been down that road the last 24 hours and got nowhere. I know you want the truth. Things happened in my life, with my family, you don't know about. I want the chance to explain everything.

The song was a gut punch. It was hard to listen to. I want to make this right. If you leave North Carolina without talking to me, don't think you're going to get rid of me that easily. You got to say your peace through the song. Let me have a chance to say mine.

Please Nick, I'm begging you...

I sat on the bed motionless. I could barely hold the phone as it loosely dangled in my hand.

This whole situation made me physically exhausted and emotionally drained.

There was only one thing I could do.

"I don't think I could've done that," Lily said, shocked at my decision to return home to Nashville without speaking to Nate.

Her reaction was surprising, she was never the sentimental type.

As we left the hotel that night, I didn't respond to Nate's email, Lily did.

I almost had to force her to type the words because she thought I was making a mistake.

I made up my mind and stuck with it, like a real adult would.

I rationalized in my head that Nate was not apologizing for the right reasons. 

Fate did not bring us back together. Plain and simple.

"I'm sorry, she is unavailable," Lily said, replying to Nate's email.

Over the next month, I refocused my energy on what mattered, my career. "Honestly" was currently the number one hit on the country charts, and I was on a media blitz campaign.

You name it, I appeared on it.

Reed and I secretly saw one another again, but this time, strictly as just friends. We concluded we were better off having a platonic relationship for the time being. Things were way too complicated in our lives for anything else.

As the media tour continued, Lily had setup a long day of interviews where various reporters and their cameraman would, one-by-one, interview me in a small hotel conference room.

The day seemed to drag on and on, and I felt uncomfortable sitting for so long. I dreamt of escaping back home to a nice, long bath with the amazing, scented bath bombs I found at a local shop in downtown Nashville.

As I waited for the next crew to set up, I glanced down at my phone.

Reed texted:

Hope the day is going well...have a relaxing bath tonight. Wish I was there!

He ended the text with a wink emoji.

We still occasionally flirted back and forth, some harmless fun between two friends. Reed's text made me smile and re-energized me for the next interview.

As I placed the phone down beside me, the cameraman indicated he was ready. The door opened and the next reporter walked in.

My mouth would've fallen to the ground, if that was possible. Nate appeared out of nowhere and closed the door behind him.