Fall of Magic Bonuses

Oakley: The Place I Belong

Everything has gone awry

Feeling a disconnect

Slowly

In a world where everyone seems so

Perfect

Can't form the bond I was meant to form

Can't tie the ties holding me

To a life I love

Because I don't love it

Am I even human?

Sure, not loving your life

Is something that happens, but is it normal

Not to feel

A single connection

With anyone?

Everyone already has friends that aren't me

Someone of higher priority

And there's no one free

As far as I can see

Not that I want anyone

See, the thing about

This lack of connection

Is that it works both ways

I just want to be alone

But I suppose we always want

What we can't have

Because I am never alone

Surrounded by a family trying to change me

But I also can't have privacy

There is no place to cry

Crying is for the weak

But I want to cry

Cry for lost connections

Cry for lost friends

Cry for relationships

That have come to an end

Do. Not. Cry.

Don't cry.

Don't cry.

Don't cry, don't cry, don't cry

Now I don't feel anything

At least, not in terms of friendship

Out of place here

I don't belong

Everything I say and do is wrong

It's almost like

I'm supposed to be somewhere else

Like the universe is telling me

It isn't right

Like I am being pulled

Away from my current life

I belong there

Not here

Where many a night

I want to break down in tears

Filled with the fear

Of what is happening to me

What have I become?

I am supposed to be strong

I must put up my shield

My mask

So no one knows

What I know:

I don't fit in

And I never will

Because this place isn't mine

Never satisfied with what I do

Always feeling like I've done nothing

With this precious life I've been given

And in the place I'm supposed to be

I can fulfill that need

My dream I can feed

Some may see it as greed

But if I don't

I will bleed

Everything crashing down around

Me until I too

Crumble

And this must be the cause of the disconnect

Not even speaking in the same dialect

So I need to go now

To the place I feel most at home

Where I can find something new

Wherever I may roam

It's all I can think about

A fresh start

I wouldn't have all these

Painful memories

Washing me away

Both the good and the bad

Memories of great friendships I've lost

Memories of dumb things I did with a cost

Memories of people I've crossed

Memories of hurt I've tried to toss

Instead bottled up inside

Eating me away

I need to start anew

Create a new life

For myself

A whole different person

It's all I ever think about