Hold On To Me

Chapter 48

"Bullshit." He spats, "You don't treat someone you love like shit and then try to take it back. You cheated on her, made her life a living hell, and somehow still had the balls to blindside her with a divorce. You're a disgrace of a man, and I hope she never forgives you."

Too entranced in Antonio, the entire ceremony whirls by her, she snaps out of her dreaming when the priest tells Antonio to give his vows.

Antonio's eyes shine with love and joy as he grabs her hand. She can feel the nerves plaguing him so she squeezes his hand in reassurance.

"My entire life" He starts, clearing his throat, "I've always wondered about true love and if I'd find it. Then I met you and I knew I had found it. I fell in love with you because you put effort into me. I fell in love because nobody has ever loved me this way. I love you because you always make me feel that I am worth something. You make me smile, you make me laugh. You've been my rock since the day I met you. I knew on our first date that you'd be 'my someone special' and I was right. Thank you for loving me, for choosing me."

Sienna smiles as tears threaten to pour over her cheeks

"Sienna, you go" The priest encourages.

She gives him a bright loving smile, "Antonio. I always thought it would be difficult to find someone who will love me when I'm always scattered in a thousand pieces. It's like trying to complete a puzzle when you don't have all the right pieces, but then you showed me that every piece doesn't have to be in place to create something beautiful. Love can exist in the most imperfect lost and broken people. You make me feel so loved. You bring me peace in all the chaos, love in all the cruelty. I love you, I always will."

Five hours later of excruciating silence between Hailey; Jay; Maggie; April; Antonio and Gabby, Choi and Rhodes along with Sharon walk to the family. Antonio's the first one up followed by Jay.

"How is she?" The detective with the diamond stud in his right ear asks, worry evident in his brown eyes. He's aware of the ring on his finger - the ring his wife gave him all those years ago.

"The impact of the hit on her head caused a brain bleed. We've managed to repair the fracture in her neck, but with the brain bleed – she's not out of the woods yet"

"I-Is she going to be okay?" Jay asks, the others are silent as they try to take in the news.

Choi sighs, his face giving away that he doesn't know. It's not easy holding a poker face when a friend of yours is lying in that bed. "I-I don't know. We're monitoring her closely, and while she's currently stable in the ICU, it's touch and go."

"Thanks Choi, Rhodes" Sharon tells them and the doctors walk away. They'd give anything to stay right now, but they know Sienna wouldn't want them to leave their other patients alone.

Antonio's legs give out from under him and sit down on the chair, gasping as reality hits him square in the face. It's touch and go. Touch and go.

He feels a hand on his back and looks into Maggie's sad eyes. Jay stormed off to the cafeteria a minute ago in rage with Hailey following him. Gabby's in the corner now joined by Matt and Carlos.

"I should kick your ass for what you did to her, but I'm guessing you're hurting enough. She's a fighter, she'll pull through"

"She needs to pull through, Maggie. She just needs to."

**

In a matter of a few hours, there have been four setbacks with Sienna clinging to life on a fragment of hope. They finally found the source – the reason – why she's crashing. The internal bleeding in the stomach came as a shock to the doctors, but they operated on her and managed to clear all injuries now. The brain bleed is under control as well.

Like Sharon said, it's a goddamn miracle they picked up on the stomach bleed as quickly as they did. Immediate family could finally be with Sienna. Although, like Natalie pointed out, the entire hospital is her goddamn family – only Jay and Antonio are allowed into the ICU now.

Knowing he's probably the last one Sienna would want to see, he tells Jay to go in without him expecting the former Ranger to do just that but to his surprise the man turns around with a small smile. "No, you should come as well"

Antonio smiles and hurries along. Both are wearing protective gear and face masks as they enter the ICU. "Oh God baby" Antonio whispers while Jay keeps quiet – his eyes burning as he tries to keep his emotions in check. He doesn't want to see her like this – not again. Jay would be lost if something were to happen to her.

She's his best friend, the only person he can rely on. The only person he can trust.

"I'm so sorry Si. I'm so fucking sorry" Antonio whispers to her. He takes a limp hand into his gloved one and squeezes, "Wake up Si. Please just wake up."

He's aware of Jay's burning gaze. "I know you love her, are you still in love with her?"

Antonio doesn't even have to think about that as he glances at Jay but his lingering gaze stays on his wife, "Every day I just fall more and more in love with her."

Jay nods, "I trusted you with the most important thing in my life Antonio. You've betrayed that trust already, don't do it again because I will kill you – and this time I'm not bluffing."

Antonio nods firmly, "I know you will and I promise you I will never hurt her again."

Jay finally sits down next to his best friend and strokes over her blonde hair. "I love you Fizz. Wake up, please, I can't go on without you."

The only sound in the ICU is the detectives' shallow breathing and the machines as they continue breathing for her. Nothing else, just silence.