Brave Bold Belle (ft. Liam Payne)

Chapter 24 - New Approach

But I don’t want to see Liam again, I can’t stand him, not after what he did. He’s a beast and I’m not the same Belle from the fairy-tale, I can’t see the beauty inside him because there’s nothing there, there’s only a pretty wrapping and an empty inside, that’s what Liam is. I can’t go through something like this dinner party again. I want to quit, I want to get my life back, to be free from all these obligations and interactions I never wanted. I just wish things could be like before.

“Belle, what’s wrong?” asks Father and I have to shake my head to remind myself to keep the smile, because I can’t let my dad know what’s going through my mind.

“Oh, it’s nothing, I’m just tired. But forget that, I’m just happy about the news; it’s great, Dad! Congratulations! I’m sure it’s going to be the best album out there,” I tell him leaving my seat to go to him and give him a tight hug.

I hold on to him even tighter than usual because if I’m doing this… if I keep doing this is all because of him. Because I love my father more than anything and I want him to be all right, I want him to be himself again.

I don’t want to stay by Liam’s side, I really want to break the contract, but I’m strong and I’ve endured worse things during these years. I can bear with a stuck-up popstar for five more months if that means my father will produce a good album and be the man I used to know.

“Thank you, Belle. You’re the best daughter any man could’ve asked for. No matter how many times I disappoint you, you still support me and help me. Thank you so much,” he says and his voice sounds so strangled I feel like I’m going to cry, too. I hug him even tighter and he pats my back softly. “I know I’ve put you through a lot but I swear this time I’ll do things right and I’ll make you proud.”

“It’ll be fine, Dad. You’ll do great. I believe in you,” I tell him pulling back just to look him in the eyes, the smile still on my lips and I have to wipe the tears that are falling down his cheeks. He’s a very sensitive man and I think I take after him my crybaby-ness.

“Thank you, my Belle,” he replies and takes my face in his hands to leave a kiss on my forehead. “Now go to bed. Do you want me to prepare something before?” he questions next and I shake my head. “Sweet dreams, then.”

I kiss his cheek and pull back completely to then turn on my heels and walk away, towards my room. On my way I take off my coat and shoes and when I see my bed I throw myself at it with the dress still on. Right now I couldn’t care less about a dress, I just want to sleep and pretend that everything is fine, that I don’t have to stick to a contract, that my father is fine and I don’t have to sacrifice myself for him to find himself. I just want the sweet oblivion of dreams. I’ll organise my mind and what I’ll do later. I’ll find a new way to deal with Liam. There has to be a way in which I don’t end up killing him or jumping in front of a train. This is not what I want or the most ideal situation but I’ve never lived in comfort or had what I wanted. I’ve always fought, I’ve always taken responsibility for my father and taken the world by the horns. I just have to keep doing this, that’s all. This is how I ought to see it.

•••

By Wednesday Liam calls me and I don’t pick up at first not because I don’t want to—although if I had seen the incoming call back then I wouldn’t have picked up either but that’s not the point—but because I’ve just been really busy due to the fact that we are preparing a fair for parents. We—as in the teaching school body—want to show them the work their kids have been doing. I just notice the missing calls when I’m heading back home and I stop to consider whether I call him back or not for good ten minutes.

No, I don’t want to talk to him, I don’t even want to see him.

Yes, I’m still obliged to be with him, call him and see him because of the contract, I can’t escape that.