Under the spotlight: book reviews [closed]

Why me

Why me by anokonda002

Cover:
I love your cover! It's simple, beautiful and attractive! I've read all 31 chapters of your book, so I'd say it kind of doesn't go with the story, the font is a bit too whimsical, and the image doesn't go very well with Akira's description. But, don't worry about the cover, it's attractive which is the most important point right now!

Banner:
The banners are spectacular tailor made for this book! The simplicity shown stand as the representation of Akira.

Blurb:
The blurb seems like one from a published novel! It's amazingly written as well as intriguing, I live the fact that you talk about one character and then another and just "clash" them. Your final sentence in the blurb is a winner, it really hit me and got me reading! From your blurb, the story sounds like a typical 'good girl and bad boy" book, which isn't entirely the case because nothing about Akira's story is typical. I'd suggest you add something that tells the reader this exact fact, the fact that your story has a little plot twist!

Characters descriptions:
Every. Single. Character. Is. Described. INTRICATELY!! I can't emphasise how much I love your characters! what I also love is that you don't overwhelm the reader with too many characters at once, there's a balance, keep that up! As a suggestion, I'd say move your cast before the "beginning" so readers have an insight of what you see. Also, it would be nice to know some of Akira's likes and dislikes, as well as Vinay! (That's just a personal reader preference so don't worry! You could also have a character Q&A page where readers get to ask the characters questions! Maybe as a reward to your readers for when you reach 2k votes?)

Storyline and plot twist:
The story line is a particularly popular one but you took it to the next level with the plot twist (ie room mates :) ) the development of the story is a beautifully neutral pace which readers can keep up-to. I have no suggestions for the story line, but if you have any questions, feel free to ask me! Keep the amazing work up!! Most importantly don't doubt yourself because every chapter is amazing!

Dialogue:
One of the things I most admire about "why me" is the dialogue. Sometimes I feel like the story is real and I'm apart of the wall just listening. The dialogue is uplifting (sometimes even deep) it's realistic and can also be nostalgic. With every word spoken by a character, you make the reader feel something different. I'll give you an example:

Roshni: makes me laugh my head of
Akira: wisdom (prime example of me XD)
Vinay: (I LOVE HIS POETRY!!) sometimes makes me cringe but sometimes, he surprises me.

One thing that bugs me is swearing, but you have the right amount so that's great!
As for improvements on dialogue, I'd say maybe you could make some of the side characters talk more, like Harsh (I really like him by the way!)

Language choice and vocabulary
You are a mastermind at setting description! The first sentence "A cuckoo gleefully sang on the branch of the neem tree outside the kitchen window, as the warm, dusty winds of the Indian summer blew lazily." It's just beautiful!
But I would like to see more of it. I know your trying to get the readers to be able to understand Akira, but having a little descriptive language plays with the flow and gives more volume to a story! "Why me" isn't completely description-less, but I think it needs a bit more, what do you think?

Grammar and spelling:
You have written a lot, so grammatical mistakes are understandable. I've seen some spelling mistakes but I'm sure their only just typos, nothing that can't be fixed with a bit of editing! I suggest you find an editor which may be really helpful! Throughout the book, I do see the improvements and that the amount of mistakes is decreasing which you should be proud of!

Reader enjoyment/ overall:
"Why me" is and will always be one of my favourites! I really believe your book will get very far. Overall, it's an amazing story with side events that are equally amazing. I loved reading one of Vinay's poem, and I would definitely love to see more! (The idea of including a poem really added a unique turn to your book!)
PS: I'm shipping Akira and Vinay till the day I die (LOL)

Book: https://my.w.tt/jIeRTBnV57