All Four Of Me

Chapter 11

Ben loads a mound of each food onto a plate and passes it over to me along with a fork and pair of chopsticks, before proceeding to pile his own plate full of food. As promised, every mouthful of food is an explosion of flavour and I have to admit that he was correct in assuming that this is the best Chinese food I have ever eaten in my life.

As we eat, Ben occasionally fills the silence by explaining the ingredients used in each dish and how he and his mother hand make the spring roll wrappers each morning before he leaves for school. The entire time I feel relaxed and for the first time since meeting Ben, I don't feel the urge to push him away completely. Instead, I find myself feeling content just sitting here listening to him talk about the one thing we both seem to share a passion for.

That is when the lightbulb moment hits me and I know exactly how I can turn this deal around in my favour while keeping Ben's feelings and pride intact.

"I'm going to be honest with you here Ben. You're a cocky son of a bitch, but you were right when you said that this Chinese food is the best I have ever tasted."

The pure joy on Ben's face as he registers my compliment only sets my idea in stone. I might be a closed off introvert, but I still have the capability to empathise with other people's emotions and lying to Ben about something that he is emotionally connected to does not sit right with me.

"Can I pay you back for some of this food? You brought so much and I feel bad for not contributing anything." I say, even though I don't have any money to pay him back. Maybe if I ask Nathan or Chris they would lend me some money.

"Your friendship is the only payment I will accept." Ben declines my offer of reimbursement while leaning forward to rest his elbows on his folded legs.

"I don't think it works like that Ben." I give him a pointed look before plucking some stray blades of grass from the edge of the blanket and flicking it away.

Ben remains quiet for a moment as he tries to think of a response to my last statement and after what feels like a solid few minutes he finally breaks the silence.

"Why don't you want to be friends with anyone, Kenzie?"

I could lie and give him the same answer I have given to everyone else who has asked me that question, but looking at all the effort he has gone to just to gain my trust I feel like he deserves the truth.

"Because it hurts too much when I have to leave them behind."

"But why would you be leaving anybody behind? Does your family move around a lot?" Ben asks, trying to piece together the puzzle of my life with the few pieces he has in his possession. What he doesn't know is that my puzzle is missing a whole bunch of pieces, so many in fact that I am not sure if I will ever be complete.

"Not exactly...You wouldn't understand Ben, my life is complicated." I say trying to find a way to explain my situation without giving away too much personal information.

I'm not ashamed of being a foster kid, I just prefer not to share my history with other people. I know that whatever reasons the government had for removing me from my parent's custody was not my fault, so the negative stigma associated with being a foster child doesn't bother me too much, but with that said I don't particularly enjoy being treated different to my peers due to my family circumstances.

"I figured that a while ago, but let me ask you this; if you knew for sure that you weren't going to move away from Sunbury Hills any time soon, would you want to have at least one friend that would be there for you no matter what and to just have fun with?" He asks, pinning me down with his burning stare as he waits for my answer.