Now That You Are Here

Walking Aimlessly

"Us, as individuals, like each other, and it doesn't matter how each of us are described or what label we have been put under by our peers?"

"Yes. You're amazing, and I don't care about the negative things people have said before I know what's real. And you are real. The woman sitting on my couch in only my sweatshirt is real. That means that you are human, and overthinking things is part of who you are. Panic attacks are part of you, and I like everything about you."

"I'm just feeling pressured to be this perfect thing, and I know I'm not. I know I'm not enough and I-."

"Shut up before I make you."

"What?"

He pulls me into his lap, hugging me tight.

"You are everything you are meant to be. Not enough? Maybe for idiots, but I'm smart as hell. Gosh, kitten. I've got a lot of work to do."

"What are you talking about?"

"You are a fucking queen. You are enough and deserve more than you can imagine. I'm going to help you understand that."

Butterfly kisses are placed along my neck, and I sink into Brixton's comfort. For the rest of the day, until we have to go back to my apartment to meet up with Dexter and Nick, Brixton and I eat cookies and cuddle on the couch, watching The Blacklist. 

Okay, I can now fully admit that lazy days are the best days...ever. Don't get me wrong, I love school and working, but watching tv with your somewhat boyfriend all day is better than anything I could ever imagine. Especially with Brixton.

He's a giant Teddy bear. He cuddles and is sweet, and he takes care of me. Jesus. I was missing out on the best person ever. I wish we got together sooner. I'm not even sure we are together right now, but it sure as hell feels like it, and I'm not letting it go. Not for anyone. 

After we eat dinner, Chinese takeout of course because we both got even more lazy, it's time for us to get ready to head over to my apartment. We are going to see Rebel with a Cause, and I couldn't be more excited. I also have to get a new change of clothes because I can't just go in Brixton's sweatshirt, no matter how much I want to.

"Come on, kitten. Dexter and Nick are meeting us soon."

"Where are my panties?!"

Brixton chuckles, pressing a kiss to the top of my head.

"In my pocket."

"I need to wear them."

"I think you look fine in my shorts. Everything's covered."

"Brixton. I'm not kidding."

"I love when you try to get mad."

"I'm going to murder you."

"Yes, but then who would give you a ride?"

I slap his bicep as Brixton chuckles deeply into my ear. I chew on my bottom lip and stare up at him with my gray eyes wide.

"That's not going to change my mind."

"Then you've got to do something for me."

"And what's that?"

"We are going to the store, and you're going to buy me all the junk food I want."

"I can agree to the condition. Anything else?"

I tap my chin as if I'm thinking. One of Brixton's eyebrows raises. He steps forward, placing a hand on my hip. His tongue darts across his bottom lip. I wrap my arm around his neck, pulling Brixton down to my height. I bite on his bottom lip as I grind the front of myself against him. Brixton groans, squeezing my hips in his large hands. Once I release his lip, he seems completely out of breath.

"Shit, kitten. You are going to be the death of me."

"You're going to die very happy then."

He throws his head back, laughing hard and clutching at his stomach. I had no idea that I was that funny, but as long as I make him smile and laugh, I don't care.

"Oh gosh. What was I doing without you?"

"I feel like you've already asked this question."

"And I'll keep asking it."

"Do you want an answer?"

"Do you have one?"

"If you want one."

He smiles, almost shyly at me, before nodding his head.

"I believe you were walking aimlessly through life, searching for purpose, wishing someone would listen. I think you were looking for something to fill your life with color, and everything seemed incredibly dull and lifeless. It all seemed like a blur. Accurate?"

"Pretty damn close I would say."

"You know that was a joke right?"

"Yeah, but you aren't wrong."

I hit his bicep and roll my eyes.

"I'm sure that's not true. You had people to keep you company."

"No one like you, kitten."

"That was cliché, but I love it."

"I have a lot more where that came from."

"Do you?"

"Yep, and I bet you can't wait to hear it."

"Oh, I sure am, but we should really get going."

He glances down at his phone and his eyes widen in shock.

"We're going to be late to meet the boys at your own apartment! No time to argue!"

"They might have a key. They'll just eat all my food and gossip about the two of us. I can assure you that neither of them will mind, and I've known far less than you have."

"I agree with you, but we should still go. We don't want to miss the movie either."

"Oh my gosh! James Dean!"