To Whomsoever It May Concern

Last Few Words

I believe in the concept of 'opposites attract'. People say soulmates are the ones with whom you can find similarities with. But I don't agree with that. Soulmates could be opposites. Soulmates are the ones who attract you with differences you dislike that might lead you to find them beautiful, the things you don't have. Maybe you could have been my soulmate if I did right by you. But maybe, not all soulmates end up together. Don't cringe, it doesn't matter now. This world isn't the only one. You are long gone, out of touch. My arrows failed, they couldn't shoot right at you, it missed. Forever.

They say, 'sometimes the most ordinary things could be made extraordinary, simply by doing them with the right people'. That was the thing about you. You see, it was really simple with you, one of the things that I loved about you, but I was the complication. You are so blessed and appreciative that I could have been happy with you, but like I said, I was a fool, I missed my shots. You were my opposite that attracted me as I am the very definition of unusual. You were a form of fascination, that's why whenever you'd text or call unexpectedly, it would excite me. Expect for the car rides every Saturday. Apologies about mine and my folks's negative vibes during those days towards you, you have no idea how me and my mom are thankful to you for those Saturdays. I'm not sure about me, but my mom feels like the happiest person alive, only because of you.

As you know, I'm a very private person. I even prefer to keep my name private. But I remember telling you things I didn't tell anyone else, to this day I wonder how could I have opened up about those incidents to you. It felt strange, I regretted it, I still do, but someone once told me, 'oceans find relief by washing up those lost contents to the shore because those things don't belong in the water' so maybe it was kind of a good thing telling you. Cause I'd rather feel regret than think of 'what if's'.

You know that feeling when you feel the need to talk to someone but you just don't, because you are unsure of what to talk about? You always made me feel that way. And trust me, it's not a pretty feeling. But I don't blame you, I don't blame me either, I just wish I was an easier perosn to deal with. You see, perfection doesn't belong in this world. You were way too perfect for me or maybe, we were way too perfect to last longer. There are different ways God takes us from each other, each of the ways as painful as the others. Remember, no battle is real if it's compared to the other, only the ones that lose and win are the ones that matter, that are of worth.

Kill me, but I won't really die! Nobody ever just literally dies. They live, except in a different world than ours. It feels that way with your departure. Forgive me for this unacceptable comparison, but I had to. Fantasized about all those conversations I wanted to have with you, but I guess those will remain lost. Forever forgotten. My heart's not entirely sad like my mom's for you, she called me a heartless when I said I won't miss you. Little does she know that even those shiny pearls like me could crack open. In the end everything breaks, everything has a point where it does not possess power. This is the proof that true and complete power lies with God only. Hence His plans.

Despite my dislike in some of your habits and styles, I loved somethings about you but I didn't love you, I mean specifically and completely, and I don't think I will ever get the chance to love you. Loving people is hard and complicated with compromises. Yeah it's true. But I think loving you would have been easier, only because it's you, because you are a blessing, something better than a beautiful human, loving you would have brought more light into my life. Don't get me wrong, I generally love you and people only because it's a human essential but like I said, I'm not a fan of commitments, I dislike compromises, even when it came to you. But, you were the kind of person I'd have done anything for, but I didn't, even though I could have. Despite of what happened in between of what could and could not have happened, you are my keeper, for real, always.