Me & Her

Her

"Please. Don't do this," she implores. Again, and again and again. I've been yearning to make her plead, to beg for her life like Emma never begged for hers. Karen Hill's life is worth not even a fraction of Emma's. Yet... I raise the gun to the ceiling, seemingly about to retreat. Hill sits up, rubbing her jaw from where she struck it on the floor.

I let her take a single breath of relief before striking the gun in one sharp arc across her temple.

She slumps instantly. Unconscious.

She should have realised I was never going to kill her.

I need her. I need her to tell me where the Foundation's other bases are, where my true Mother is. I need her to help me acquire all the information I need to hunt the Janus Foundation down and kill them all. Justice doesn't even come into it.

Turning her over, I rip the laces from her shoes, trying to balk as I remember Emma presenting me with a change of clothes.

After Hill is secured, I stand. Face what I've done. I look Doc' in the eye, then Noah, who trembles beside him. I almost nod, almost smile. I would have, if not for the nausea in the pit of my stomach. They should be afraid of me. They should be more than afraid. I am a killer, a murderer. I am everything the Foundation crafted me to be, whether I was one of their experiments or not. Now I am. At least one of their lies finally rings true. I am a monster.

Staring at Karen Hill's slumped shoulders, I reach down and stretch the laces to breaking point, tying her arms even tighter. I hope I've broken or at least dislocated her shoulder in the process.

Standing, I look around, not really seeing. The darkness of the room is superficial, Emma's body on the floor a silhouette. Doc' and Noah are mere road signs. The metallic smell of gunfire, of blood, fails to reach my lungs. I'm numb. Numb to it all.

In one swift motion, I hook my fingers into Hill's scalp, drag her to the door. In the wake of the silence, my movements are fireworks. Popping, lightning fast.

Turning back to the bodies – they've all bled out by now – I search them for ID's, which I pocket, money, which I steal, and ammunition. I take the gun with a silencer, then one without. I want to make some noise, I want to turn the sky red. But, some tired, broken part of me already wants this to be over. It's only Emma's starless gaze which binds me to this path. Keeps me going.

I am not going to let her down.

Shoving the guns into the back of my jeans, I catch the sight of blood on my shirt. Emma's blood. Starkly mauve against the fabric. Like paint. I wish it were paint. I wish it wasn't real. I wish I could shake Emma's shoulder until she blinks, sits up, and offers me a calming smile. Laughs. Tells me she likes me just the way I am, not who I'm supposed to be.

Blinking back what might be tears, I stride towards the door. Several sets of keys jingle in my pockets, a sound too merry for the world. Doc' tries to catch my eye, but I don't let him. He taught me to drive after all. He helped me become more mobile, trained me to be a more effective monster. He should have been more careful. Careful of the monster he was unleashing upon the world. This world deserves it, deserve me.

And I deserve to haunt it for the rest of my live.

Because Emma is no longer laughing, smiling, crying or running. She's not walking, writing or blowing her nose. She is no longer here. She will never again be able to hold a pen, or text or giggle at a joke. Don't they understand? She's not here.

Karen Hill enters my mind. I almost hold her aloft – the only person who can tell me where my Mum is. The only person who can help me destroy the Foundation once and for all. Once upon a time, not too long ago, she could have helped us be better. Helped us feel human again. Now Alice is... She's unresponsive and she has never, in all our years, been unresponsive. She is a bumblebee, hovering at the edge of our mind. Now there is nothing but silence. And I hate it. I hate the silence, hate the fact that the only sound I can allow myself to hear is the thump of Emma's body hitting the floor.

My hand wavers on the door handle, but I open it, breathe in the cloistered air of the apartment block. The city speaks to me, whispers of its heartbreaks, it's triumphs. There will be no more triumphs, for me or for the Foundation. I am done.

Shoving Hill out into the hallway, I hear a final plea. Some desperate attempt to crack the cavern of pain which has bloomed around my heart. Our heart no longer.

"Alice, wait. Please. Alice. Come back to me," he's saying. He begs and begs and begs.

Dr. Light, you're far too late. I was instructed to take control, to take the wheel. To finally have a life of my own only when I feel as if I cannot bear to live it.

Behind me, I can somehow sense the eyes of Emma's body burning a hole into my back. Telling me to stay, to wait. To leave revenge behind. But I can't. I won't. Emma deserves better than that. Better than me.

Pausing on the threshold, I listen to Noah's subdued cries and Doc's incessant begging.

"Alice, you don't have to do this. Come back to me". I shake my head.

"She's gone," is all I say. I step out of the door.

And she is never coming back.

The Current End