Believe In Me

Chapter 28

Amanda’s POV

It has been nearly a month and I haven’t heard from Michael. His phone is no longer in service. I am half mad with panic and half furious. Why doesn’t he come back? Why doesn’t he call me??? My mother notices my restless state and just offers me a deep look. “Told you so.” She doesn’t need to spell the words, I feel them hanging in the air between us.

This state of nervousness has a physical effect on me, as well. I am getting dizzy for no good reason. Sometimes I throw up in the morning. I feel tired and without energy. And I don’t know what to do…how and where to reach Michael and ask him what is wrong.

I know he did not abandon me. I know it! Our love is real, his proposal is real….I have his ring on my finger and it gives me the assurance that I did not make a mistake in trusting him with my love.

Finally, I’ve had enough of feeling sick and decided to get an appointment with the doctor. He took a blood sample and asked me back the next morning for the results.

“I do not know how you will receive the news I am about to give you, Miss Sanchez. On one hand, there is absolutely nothing clinically wrong with you.”

“Then what is it? Tell me directly, please.”

“Very well. You are pregnant.”

My eyes grew big and my hand reached for my stomach. Pregnant!

“I…I don’t understand. I am taking my contraceptives….I did not skip even one.”

“They are not 100% safe. Plus, any small issue, such as a stomach bug or a flu, can render them inefficient.”

My food poisoning! That must be it! Those few days, when I was lying in bed, unable to eat, and taking some pills. Just before that fateful London trip.

I walked home slowly. My situation had just become a hundredfold more complex. I was expecting a child, Michael’s child, and I had no idea how to get hold of him. I’m actually starting following newspaper news about him, like a silly fan. But there was nothing in the news about Michael. He seemed to have gone under the radar and nothing I tried worked. I had no idea where he was, what he was doing, if he was missing me, if his children were missing me….I know that I miss him and right now, that I know that I’m pregnant by him, I need him! Dios, I need him and I have no idea how to reach him!

I pondered about telling my mother the truth or not. Sure, I could not hide my pregnancy forever. I just hoped against all reasonable arguments that the situation would be somehow solved by the time my belly got visible.

But I had to tell my mother. It was eating me inside, keeping this big news from her. Although I could predict her reaction, I had to tell her.

“Mama, I will have a baby. I am not ill, I am pregnant.”

“I did suspect that. And your famous Mr. Jackson is nowhere in sight. Look at you, mi hija, repeating my life and my mistakes.”

“Mama, I know who my baby’s father is. And somehow, we will get back together.”

“So you will keep dreaming and hoping, like I did. Amanda, he is not coming back. He had his good time and now he is getting back to his world.”

“It is not like that, mama!”

“Mi hija, I do not want to fight with you. It is too late. I just hope you do the right thing… and do not get yourself out of your own problems at the cost of a human life.”

“Mama! I would never ever contemplate the idea of killing my baby! I may not be as religious as you are, but I have a conscience. I created this baby from love. I will not kill it!”