Believe In Me

Chapter 50

Michael's POV

She was staring at me and nearly dropped the phone from her hand. I had a feeling that I knew what this was about. John told her about the memorial service. And that my kids would be on the stage, without the masks. I was definitely not in favor of this idea. But Prince and Paris talked me into it. They were sick and tired of the masks. They wanted to make an appearance and make people feel ashamed about how they've been hounding us for years.

I quickly finished the phone call with John and steeled myself for what was to come.

"Amanda...I know what John told you..."

"You...you know about it? You...AGREE...with this insanity?"

"I have to. Prince and Paris want it. My father wants it. In many ways, I still have my hands tied to my family and have to make allowances for what they want. My dad wants to send me off with a bang. Well, he's going to have it. At that blasted Staples Center where I bled and sweated for This Is It."

"Por Dios, Michael, but this is obscene!"

"This is show business", I tell her drily and I instantly regret my tone of voice.

Her eyes flew open and I could see the color rising in her cheeks.

"Show business??? This is show business??? And what am I? A prop? An underling that has some minor role to play and no lines to speak?"

"Baby...."

"Don't baby me! Why didn't you tell me? Why on Earth am I still in your life, if you keep vital information from me??? You said you wanted me to act like a mother for your children and I loved you for that. But if you accept me as a mother for your children, you accept that I should have a word in life changing decisions concerning them!"

What can I say in my defence? She nailed it. I look like a hypocrite. Asking her to mother my children when it suits me.

"What can I say, Amanda? I wanted to protect you..."

"Oh, spare me, the medieval knight in shiny armor attitude! I am not a damsel in distress that needs saving. I am your partner, your equal. I gave birth to your child without any kind of pain relief. I buried my mother. I faced a ton of crap from my uncle. Don't insult me by saying I can't handle this or that."

"I wouldn't dream of doing that. I just....Okay, I don't know what was in my mind to keep this from you. I know how fiercely protective you are of Prince and Paris. Maybe that was it. I was afraid you'd disagree with this and then we'd have a showdown with my father – and right now I really need the old man on my good side. Like it or not."

She sighed and seemed to deflate a little.

"Bueno, now that you explain it rationally to me, I understand. And you're right, I completely disagree with this. I don't want the children exposed like....like you were all your life so far. But I see their point of view. They don't want the masks anymore. They don't want paparazzi chasing them to take a snapshot at their faces and sell them to the highest bidder. They will publicly show their faces in a place where everyone will be with photo and video cameras. There will be no money to be made from selling their faces."

"Exactly! That's my smart woman! Amanda, I am really sorry I left you out in the dark."

"Don't do that again. Otherwise, what is the point of us being holed up in here? If we don't have each other's back, what do we have?"

I take a tentative step forward and she takes one towards me. We hold each other tightly for minutes without speaking a word. I feel her strength and determination seeping into me, giving me purpose.