All Up In My Head [Completed]

9 Stupefied

“You know, you don’t say much but your face says a lot.”

He’s leaning against the table, his hands crossed around his chest, his head tilting towards her. Lila bit her lip and tried to suppress her facial expressions.

“Hindi kaya,” tanggi niya pa.

“See? I’ve never seen a person with so much expression.” He seems amused of her.

Lila almost rolled her eyes. “Hindi mo ba nakikitang sarili mo?”

“Ikaw, di mo ba nakikita ang sarili mo?” There he is again with that stoic look. It makes her wonder who’s the real Ewan. Most of the time, he’s such a jokester, there are times that he throws sarcastic remarks but moments like this one makes Lila’s insides twist in shambles. Who are you, Ewan?

His eyes changed and continued talking, “We’re actually working on our final project. Make or break na kumbaga.”

“Grupo kayo ni Patrick?” she asked.

He shook his head. “No, pero nagtutulungan naman kami. Parehong robotics ang major namin eh.”

“Ano ‘to?” She read the scratch paper. Tree energy generation. Smart receptionist. Wala na siyang masabi.

“Ideas. Designs ng mga classmates ko,” he replied.

“Aren’t these too ambitious?” Her brows furrowing.

He chuckled. “Wait 'til you see mine.”

“What are you building? Mga megatron?”

Tumawa itong muli. “Joker ka pala, Lila. Confidential muna. Baka ma-jinx.”

“Naniniwala ka pala do’n,” she whispered.

He doesn’t look like someone who believed in such. Lumabas sila sa building. They’re walking side by side. Ewan talk about himself. She’s actually glad that he does that. Lila doesn’t want any pity from someone. Her sob story doesn’t define her. Isa pa, hindi siya handang bigyan ng daan ang isang taong wala namang kasiguraduhan kung tatagal.

“Ikaw, what are you up to? Diba language studies ang course mo?”

She shrugged. “Yeah. It’s nothing interesting.”

“Anong hindi? I can’t even write a proper essay.”

She snorted. Who doesn’t? Anyone can come up with one, she thought.

“Sige nga, anong French ng maganda?” tanong nito.

Umiling siya. “Ayokong sagutin ‘yan.”

She already took French last year. She knows the basic but for some reasons, she didn’t want to answer it.

“Pambihira. Akala mo ba banat ‘yon?” Humagalpak ito ng tawa.

Lila glared at him but he only laughed louder. Naiinis na talaga siya sa lalaking ‘to. One moment he was telling her how great his family and how he loves comic characters and how passionate he is about his swimming thing and another second, he downright teasing her.

“Du bist so doof!” singhal niya saka inunahan ang lalaki sa paglalakad.

As expected, he caught up.

“Anong ibig sabihin no’n?”

Ilang beses itong nangulit sa sagot ngunit hinayaan niya lang ito. Napansin niyang nasa tuktok na ang buwan. Anong oras na nga ba? Ni hindi niya napansin ang oras kanina. She didn’t even feel tired after all the things she did this day. Ngunit kailangan niya ng umuwi.

“Tara na. Gabi na,” aniya.

“Ang daya mo talaga.” He pouted and crossed his arms.

Lila can’t believe on how he’s acting. Nasa labas na sila ng Gustavio. He’s still walking along side her. Hanggang sa marating nila ang sakayan ng jeep.

“Teka lang...” They stopped. Ewan dangled something in the air. It’s the bracelet he brought at the night market but it looks different. The purple shade is still there but he added some charms around it.

“Para sa’yo talaga to. Inayos ko lang,” ika nito saka inikot sa kanyang kamay ang bracelet. Lila bit her lip when his hand grazed around her skin. He looked satisfied on how it turned out. This isn’t right, Lila thought. But before she can say anything an audi stopped in front of them.

The window slowly opened. And she saw a woman in her late 50's or early 60's at least. She's wearing her hair in a bun. Mapupula ang manipis nitong mga labi. Her aristocratic nose is proud as the light reflects on her silk dress. Something tells Lila that she looks immaculate in her prime. Who is this woman?

“Ewan? Why are you still out in the middle of the street?” tanong nito.

May kakaiba sa punto ng babae.

Ewan looked surprised. “I just had something going on, Abuela.” He took a glance at her.

“I do not understand why your coach does not allow you to drive. You wouldn't even get a driver. Pareho talaga kayo ni Vico, matitigas ang ulo. Always risking your safety,” himutok nito.

The woman turned to her. “Quien es esta chica?”

“Lila po,’ sagot niya.

“Oh comprende?” She smiled.

She nodded and said, “Konti lang po.”

“Ito ba ang oras ng iyong uwi, hija?” Tinaasan siya nito ng kilay.

She didn’t know what else to say. The woman is just so intimidating to her.

“Abuela...”

The woman suddenly smiled. “Perdon. Mga kabataan talaga ngayon. Get inside and we’ll take this lovely girl home.”

Wala na siyang nagawa. She didn’t have the guts to say no. Parang kakainin siya nang buhay ng lola ni Ewan kapag tumanggi siya. She was seated at the front sit. Magkatabi ang dalawa sa likod. Tahimik lang siya buong byahe. Wala naman siyang ibang sasabihin. They’d occasionally ask her things but she preferred if they won't. Buti na lang ang dalawa na ang nag-usap kalaunan.

“Hijo, por favor, get someone to drive you or I’ll talk to Clementine.”

“Abuela, don’t bother. Nakikisakay naman ako kina Gab or kay Eon.”

Malapit lang naman ang bahay nila pero parang kay tagal ng byahe. Laking saya niya nang makita na ang gate ng bahay nila. Agad siyang lumabas saka nagpasalamat dito. She really felt suffocated inside. Kahit na wala naman itong ginagawa sa kanya.

“Dito pala ang bahay niyo.” He got off the car.

She smiled a little. “Salamat sa paghatid. Alis na kayo,” pagtataboy niya.

“Pasok ka muna,” ika nito.

Mukhang hindi talaga makikinig.

“Bye...” She nodded at him and immediately got inside their house. She sighed when she heard the car leaving. Lila never saw herself at disadvantaged. Even though she’s a scholar who belongs to a lower class family. She’s proud to say that she helped herself and she never let anyone bullied her. But in that small, tight, enclosed space of a 4-seater audi, Lila felt small.