one shots // falsettos.

drink wine and bitch about your kids // tkf (hc)

high school au from sarahistrying
this whole idea was hers, go read her stuff!!

i hope you like this sarah!! ily! <3

•••

mendel fumbled about for his belt, slipping it into his trousers as he almost fell over his own feet. today was the weekly "book club" meeting the parents of rochester had, but in reality it was "drink wine and bitch about your kids" club.

he caught sight of himself in the mirror, and he didn't look half bad. he rushed out of the room, and thundered down the stairs to meet trina and the others, sans marvin.

marvin. poor him. his mother was never present in book club, and he never even joined the group of neurotics for their weekly meetings. of course, he'd see them at school, but whenever they'd ask why he never came, he'd go pale and attempt to change the subject. nervous glances would be thrown and quiet murmurs would settle in the boys stomach like a vice.

he shook the thought from his head. whatever was happening in the feldman's dark house, it wasn't good. at all.

this week, the meeting was to be arranged at cordelias house. he noticed that his mother had already left, simply waiting for mendel at his own pace, since the house was only across the street. he took the sly opportunity, which his mother should've guessed, to sneak over to their alcohol cabinet. after all, a little couldn't hurt.

he ran to their kitchen, and against the wall a sleek cabinet was sat, in which various liquors, wines, beers and ales stood in order of volume. his mother was very organised, after all. he had to hop up onto the counter because he stood at a measly 5"3.

he decided to swipe up a rather large bottle of beer, that would probably be able to go round the five of them. he grabbed a very small bottle of sloe gin, just to add a kick. after all, this night was going to be a long one.

the bottles almost fell out of the cabinet as he reached for the one he wanted. his brown eyes widened, and he caught one in his noodle arms. since he wasn't too strong, it dragged his arm down and made a pathetic clunk against the marble countertop. he winced at the sound, even though no one else was home to hear it.

well, that's what he thought.

the footsteps padding down the hallway began to get louder as his mother made her way back to the kitchen. he let out a silent "fuck!" and tried to shove the bottles back as quietly as possible.

of course, the universe hates a certain mendel weisenbachfeld, and so, the bottles chimed against one another obnoxiously, the contents swirling around inside the murky brown or clear glass bottles like the nerves coursing through his veins.

his mother walked in, and she came into quite a sight.

her son was halfway on the counter, one leg slung off the edge, and he was hastily shoving bottles of liquor back into their cabinet. he swerved his head around, hair flying in his face as he met his mothers terrifying gaze. estelle weisenbachfeld was scary when she needed to be.

"mendel josEPH WEISENBACHFELD--"

•••

after an agonising lecture in a thick new york accent later, mendel trudged begrudgingly behind his mother to cordelias house, without the alcohol which was going to help him through this long night.

{my chance to survive the night right?? eh??? i'll stop now.}

"sorry for taking so long! i caught 'del here in the alcohol cabin--"

he was drawn away from his mothers complaining by a harsh whisper to his right.

"del. psst!"

he recognised the voice to be that of cordelias. he looked around, and saw her at the top of the stairs with a dopey grin on her face.

"delia?" he whispered back, padding softly up the stairs to join the rest of the group.

whizzer was trying to open a bottle of vodka, charlotte also. cordelia was sat with trina, who looked generally disappointed.

"oh! 'del! heyy!" whizzer yelled, waving him over. it was then that mendel noticed a discarded wine bottle next to those two.

"you've started already?" he queried as he walked over to the boy who couldn't open a bottle, but he was pretty weak when intoxicated anyway.

"whhat? oh. yeah, aha. d-don't worry though, mendy! you can join in too!" whizzer slurred, and leant into the curly haired boy.

he couldn't exactly say no. so, he grabbed up the bottle, unscrewing the lid. he chugged at least half the bottle, and a bottle of high-volume cider...

and plunged himself into a drunken state.

•••

laughter was bounding off the walls as the four of them rolled around, clutching stomachs and tears pricking the edges of their eyes.

it had been about half an hour, and everyone was drunk except trina, who was sat in the corner, skim-reading a dickens book.

a police car skidded past their house, and whizzer stumbled to the window.

"fuck da police!!" whizzer yelled, sending the others into reeling laughter.

he then proceeded to pass out. just, straight up on the carpet.

"wait. holy fuck. whiz?" cordelia snapped out of her laughter, and scurried over to her best friend.

"whizzer. fuck!" she shook him back and forth, but to no avail.

"guys. whizzers dead." she gasped, tears flooding her eyes, and flowing down her cheeks.

mendel was rummaging around, and he found his phone. he drunkly giggled, and entered a song into the search bar of youtube.

he began to drunkenly sing "do you hear the people sing?" as cordelia cried over whizzers unconscious torso, and charlotte was having a very, very in-depth conversation with her dog, cookie.

"but like... the meanin' of life is obviously, like, eat ass, smoke grass--" she trailed off into howling hysterics, clutching her sides.

this all happened while trina was trying to forget the people she ended up with. she loved them, dearly, but they could be neurotic. but so could she.

•••

"andrew mason, for fucks sake."

anne-marie brown came up the stairs to see her son passed out with cordelia on top of him. mendel was sleeping over charlotte, and trina had fallen asleep in the chair she had been reading in.

"maybe we should leave them." caroline - cordelias mom - said, trying to contain her laughter at the sight of her daughter.

•••

the sunlight slipped through the sickeningly white curtains of caroline's spare room. whizzer groggily awoke, head pounding like someone took a jackhammer to his skull. his throat was incredibly sore and dry, and he felt like he'd just been dragged through a bush backwards.

"the fuck--"