Death Bound: Volume 1

The Infinity Loop: Birth

During birth, the smiling faces of angels will surround you. You will see them, the angels, just barely lighting up the darkness of your mother's womb with the pleasant blue and pink and green auras about them. They are a peculiar blend of a fairy's magical beauty with the ever blissful, ever accommodating nature of a North Pole elf.

Strange, but true.

There are dozens of them alongside you, snuggled up and keeping you warm. They act as your cheer team, your hype squad. They're present for one simple reason: to make you feel loved and supported as they both prep and usher you from the confines of your vessel out into the world.

They'll flutter around, hugging and kissing and winking and high-fiving, all the while, pointing towards something you have yet to notice. When you look, you'll see it—you'll see what all their fuss and excitement is about. You will see the bodily exit, which'll also serves as your worldly entrance.

You'll look at the opening, the size of a glazed donut, and will think there's no way you're fitting through. But the angels know otherwise. They know your head is soft, pliable; that your will is strong; that your purpose is meaningful, so they will continue to push and push because they have faith. Faith in the bigger picture.

And faith in you.

So, you will press your head into the birth canal. You will twist. You will turn. You will try with everything your tiny fetus body has to muster to please the angels, because you won't want to disappoint. In the end, you will succeed, though when you do, and your head is out and their cheers of jubilation are heard, you'll be exhausted from your effort.

You will try to rest, but you won't be able to. The labor was just the first half. There is a second to contend with. You see, once out, you'll be bombarded by the presence of light. It will be disconcerting and beautiful; overwhelming and uplifting.

The second thing you'll notice is the coldness. Inside your mother's belly, while cozying up with the angels, it was 98.6 degrees; but outside of it, the temperature will drop to around 70. So not only will your eyes be blurry and unfocused as they struggle with the lighting, but your adrenaline will be pumping, your thyroid levels elevating. This will be your body adjusting for the temperature change.

You will also need oxygen. You will not be the least bit aware of the mechanical and physiological changes that have helped prepare you for your first intake of air. You won't know because, while in utero, the oxygen you needed was being delivered through the placenta. Only when the umbilical cord is clamped shut, rendering the placenta no longer capable of doing its job, will you realize a need of oxygen for the first time.

Fortunately, your lungs will take over. You'll have the angels to thank for this. In the womb, your lungs were filled with a fluid that helped them mature, but during labor the angels set to work drying them out in preparation to be filled with air. This, coupled with the pressure their constant hugging caused, meant your lungs had yet to begin pumping.

Now that the angels have set you free, that pressure will let up, and your lungs will begin pumping blood and providing the needed oxygen.

Your comfort level will increase from here. But there will be one thing missing: the angels.

Your loneliness will create distress, distress that will be further amplified by the simple fact that your senses will have yet to work. You will not smell anything. Nor will you hear much, just a loud ringing, though you'll know that somewhere behind you the angels are still celebrating. You will feel warmth at this thought, though the memory of them and the secret role they played is already beginning to fade.

However, this is okay, because a familiar voice will whisper something to you. You won't yet understand what the words mean, but you'll sense the love within them. You'll try with everything you have to open your eyes, and when you do, you'll be amazed. What you'll see, a mere eight-or-so inches from your face, will be as beautiful and as soothing as any angel.

You will see... your mother.