I Wish I Could

•|Chapter Nine|•

WARNING before reading this chapter:

Triggering events take place, like always.

Dedicated to thebreakfastclub because they are super kind and have an amazing story out
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September 9, 2017

I woke with a jolt,the sun blinding me as I reached for my phone checking the time. I payed back down sighing, trying to calm myself from the almost heart attack I gave myself. I still had thirty minutes until I had to get ready to leave.

I stared up the the ceiling, lost in my thoughts. Lost in my thoughts of my dad, Brandon, and Spencer. Thoughts of the accident and what my life would be like if Spencer was still here, if I didn't call him that night.

I got out of my bed and put on an old pair of sweatpants and a sweatshirt, just throwing my long albrurn hair in a messy bun.

I grabbed my phone and bag and knocked on Keivin's door before entering. Noticing he was still asleep I looked around but didn't see the keys to the car. Sighing I began to shake him.

Upon seeing that it was me who woke him he groggily groaned "what?" before he began to sit up.

"Where are the keys? Do you need a ride?"

"In my bag pocket, and I guess you could drop me off at Chris's."

I nodded my head, and headed over to his backpack and reached in the pocket, exept my hand came around something foil like and not metal. Slowly I took my hand out only to drop it right back in when I noticed it not only was a gronola bar wrapper, but a condom still in the package as well.

I reached into the other pocket, glad to find the keys in that one. When I turned back around I guess my face must've shown how uncomfortable I was because he muttered "shit" under his breath.

"It's not what you think-"

"I don't want to know. Just be ready in three minutes to go." I walked out of his room shaking my head heading into the kitchen. I went to grab a banana, but the event that just took place had me cringing. I decided on toast with peanut butter spread.

Keivin came into the kitchen with a sheepish look on his face blushing. When he saw me he rubbed the back of his neck.

"It's not-"

"I don't want to know any details. I just want to know if you are in a relationship and didn't tell me." I stared into his brown eyes as he somewhat tensed. "Keivin, answer the question," I had a warning tone in my voice.

He sighed, raking his hand through his hair. "I was at Chris's spending the night last weekend and one thing led to another and..."

"Keivin, why didn't you tell me you were gay? You know I'd love you still-" he cut me off, his eyes wide.

"Oh, no. Nonono. I'm not gay autumn. I um, their was a party and Chris told me I might get lucky and I did just," he looked down at his hands.

"Just what?"

"I just, I think I'm Bi. I just I really like this girl, but I messed it up because I may have hit on her friend infront of her, but then she also saw me kiss another guy at the party and has been keeping her distance and just I don't know what to do and-" he rambled on.