"I'm surprised the other part of the question wasn't if he was good in bed. Um, he's small but thick, he knew how to use it." Hailee rolled her eyes as the audience freaked.
"This game just escalated." James chuckles, telling the viewers at home to make sure the kids are away from the tv. Y/n spins the lazy Susan, stopping on the bull penis for James.
"Alright Jamie boy. Who has asked to do Carpool that you turned down?"
"I think we turned down that band, The Wanted."
"Wow, you called them that band." Y/n shook her head as James spinned the lazy Susan and gave Hailee the cod sperm.
"What is Y/n's most annoying habit?" Y/n rose her eyebrow, staring at her girlfriend with a smirk on her face. Hailee took the fork and poked at the cod sperm, then looked back at her girlfriend.
"It's okay, we promised we'd be truthful without getting upset or jealous." Y/n said, but she still had a smirk on her lips.
"Okay, she uses her phone at inappropriate times! Like last week, we were having a romantic evening and one thing lead to another, and we ended up in bed and her cell rings. She did let it go to voicemail, but it rang again and she picked it up and said, "no, I'm not busy," but you were about to be busy!" Hailee yelled out, the audience booing Y/n as they shake their heads.
"It was my grandma who called! I told you that! It wasn't like I could tell her, 'hang on a moment grams, I'm just gonna fuck my girlfriend real quick'." There's screams of laughter from the audience and James looks so out of place.
Hailee rolls her eyes, giving her the salmon smoothie as she picks the card up. "Ooh, okay, rank your lovers from best to worst."
"Fuck.." Y/n muttered, some guy in the audience cheering loudly. "Okay, you're obviously best, no doubt there. Selena next, Jason after, Kendall and Justin. Justin absolutely sucked. And Kendall is a pillow princess. Jason was great, Selena made me forget and Hailee-"
"Don't even." The singer warns, sending her girlfriend a glare. Y/n puts her hands up in mock surrender, sending Hailee a smirk.
"I think the network is gonna hate me now." James joked, while Y/n picked the mealworm and avocado toast for him.
"Between your mom and dad, who's your favorite?" James jaw drops at the question, but once again, Y/n puts her hands up in mock surrender. "I just pick and read the cards."
"I can't.." he takes a bite of the toast, the audience cheering but also booing at him. He quickly spits it out, then drinks some water as he shakes his head.
"Last question. Your song End This (L.O.V.E) is about people lying and cheating. You had a very big public fight and break-up with Y/n five months ago and someone said they heard you say, and I quote 'cheating bitch' before storming off. Is that song about Y/n." Hailee looks at Y/n and Y/n stares back at her.
"Can I explain before you start hating on her?" James nods and Hailee takes a breath. "That song is about her, but she did not cheat on me. I assumed she did because one night, she came home reeking of perfume and I automatically assumed she cheated. Her sister had sprayed herself full of perfume so her husband wouldn't catch her smoking. Her sister will confirm that. Y/n didn't cheat, we both know how it feels to be cheated on and it sucks." Y/n quickly wipes a tear away, sniffing as she sends her girlfriend a sad smile. Hailee frowns and gets out ofnher seat, pulling Y/n into a hug, that causes the audience to cheer for them. The singer gives her girlfriend a kiss on her forwhead before taking her seat again.
"Here, have some more crickets." Y/n chuckles, picking up the bug and eating it. "Oooh, have you ever forgotten any anniversaries and had to quickly run out to get something?"
"No, I always have the date locked in my phone or computer. But I usually know when the day is."
"Even all three of ours?"
"January 21st is the first time we met, February 14th is our first date, May 6th is our official girlfriend day, where you asked me to be your girlfriend. Fast forward to this January 6th, when we broke up, and April 29th is when we got back together. I know them love." Hailee smiles, somehow falling in love with Y/n even more.
"That's so sweet!" James wipes a fake tear away, but then looks at Y/n, ready for his last question.
"Salmon smoothie! Uh, what guest do you never want back on, or just on your show."
"Donald Trump." The audience cheered as James thanks the two ladies, giving them hugs before the walk backstage.
"Okay, brush your teeth." Y/n gives her a salute, walking towards the bathroom and brushing her teeth, getting the legs and bug juice from between her teeth.
Hailee yawns when Y/n walks out of the bathroom, the singer wrapping her arms around Hailee's waist and holding her close. "Let's go home." Y/n kisses the side of her girlfriend's forehead, then leaving.
~~~
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