Winning Hurricane

XI - Buspirone

Tumango lang ulit ako kahit hindi ko yon ginagawa. Tuwing may problema naman kasi ako kinakaya ko mag-isa. Mas sanay akong i-handle ang lahat ng solo.

"Kapag may ipapakilala ka dalhin mo lang sa bahay."

Tatango sana ako pero napatigil din agad kaya tumawa na naman si dad. "Wala man kami lagi sa tabi niyo pero alam mo naman na may pamilya kang malalapitan, right?"

I heaved a sigh. "Dad, I'm fine. Tell it to Charlie or Chad, they need you more."

"You're the most reserved. We barely knew things about you.. I just feel you're the one who needs us most."

"I am good on my own."

"You're not alone, Chandrella."

Tumango nalang ulit ako para matapos na ang usapan. Hindi ko pinakita ang gulat ko ng yakapin ako ni dad at halikan sa sentido, "I am always proud of you. Whatever, whenever and whoever you are and will be."

I blinked my tears away as I felt my heart being filled. My parents.. they may not always be around but they all made us feel how worthy and loved we are. And that will always be enough.

Pinanood ko lang si dad na bumalik sa dining area kasama ang mga kapatid ko at ilang bisita. He's talking to Charlie naman. I smiled inwardly.

He's the kindest and most humble man I know.

Tatayo na sana ako nang makitang palapit si Cane. Para tuloy may sariling utak ang katawan ko at ini-glue ang sarili sa sofa.

I can feel the anticipation.. the blood bumping to every nerves. I really hate what I am feeling.

He's holding two flute of white wine. Inabot niya sakin yong isa na tinanggap ko naman. Umupo siya sa tabi ko. His scent somehow calmed my system who's currently in war.

"Why aren't you joining them?" he motioned from where my family is.

Kasi andoon siya kanina kaya wala ako don but now.. he's here and I am still.. here.

"Why are you here?" I asked instead.

"Tapos na ako ma-interview." Ngiting ngiti siya as he sipped on his flute.

My face remained impassive but my eyes were asking. He smiled even wider when he reads me. "Your family is surprisingly very interested in my life."

"What's their question?"

"How's life in law school, my love life, type ko sa babae.." he answered lifting his right shoulder before giving the television his attention.

"And you passed the interview?"

He glanced at me, "Siguro. Nireto ka na ni mama mo sakin e."

I almost grunt at what he answered. Si mommy talaga! Naubos ko tuloy ng dalawang lagok ang wine.

"You have a good family." He commented and I can't argue further.

"Yeah. Same as yours."

"Hindi lahat ng pamilya masaya." He answered mysteriously as he gulped the remaining wine.

I suddenly have the urge to ask for more. About his relationship with his family but I stopped myself because I know once I started knowing more about him then it will already be impossible to retreat from delving deeper. The thirst from wanting to know him is quite powerful but I can still restrain myself from doing so. I don't think I can take it if my feelings grow into more uncontrollable.

Okay na na crush lang.. shit, I just admitted it to myself.

"We're not always happy either," I just said instead.