What Have You Done to Me? (Blaise Zabini/oc fanfiction)

Chapter Twenty One: The Good Old Days

Everything was a blur. Like, I was there physically but I wasn't there mentally.

I had dark circles under my dull blue eyes and I swear, my eyes turned a more gray colour.

My newly golden hair was now stark white-the colour of bleach. My curls were limp, my face sallow, my skin abnormally pale, and my once-curvy body was all bones.

I felt miserable.

But it was worth it in a way. I was able to protect Blaise and Nat. Abd from the meetings I was supposed to go to, I learned that I would be going back to Hogwarts while Draco stayed back.

For you, I'll rewind.

The first week was horrible. It was filled with silence and Bella's cackling downstairs. Draco and I were locked in our rooms, only allowed to come out for dinner. That was when I started turning pale and boney. My golden tan disappeared and my body-although had curves-was all bone and skin. I was able to see my ribs. It was scary.

The second week was okay. Except for the fact that the Cruciatus Curse was used on me.

Yeah...

Basically, because Draco was "unable to complete the given task," he was to be punished. Guess what the punishment was? It was the Cruciatus Curse.

And oh god, the Dark Lord kept at it for about 2 minutes before I jumped up from my seat and intercepted the curse.

I fell down on the ground but didn't scream. It felt like knives and swords were constantly impaling themselves everywhere on my body.

He didn't stop for another 3 minutes.

I thought I was dead.

But that was why my eyes dulled and my hair turned white and limp.

I was scared.

The third, fourth, and fifth week was nothing but meetings all day. They didn't give me food for the whole third week, making Draco share his with me-he wouldn't take no for an answer, no matter how much I said no.

But I was still much more skinny.

I was so desperate that I wanted to eat my clothes. My fucking clothes.

The seventh and eighth week was preparing for the school years.

Books that Draco and I needed were absolutely none. But I still brought my DADA book from 6th year.

We were-I was, technically-ordered to say nothing about anything to anyone.

But I did. Secretly. But I got cursed for it.

When all the Death Eaters were out of the Manor, I apparated to the Calderon Estate in Spain and told Nat everything I could. Which was literally just telling her that death eaters were going to teach in school. I apparated back and was cursed right away for about 5 minutes, making my brain go wack and my body jelly. But I didn't scream or tell them where I went. That was personal.

And that was why I was standing on Platform 9 ¾ with my trunk and my cages in my hands and facing the train.

I took a deep breath and went in.

I was greeted by black and silence. The usually bustling train with shouts and gleeful laughter was completely silent.

Ignoring the stares-glares, actually- i went from compartment to compartment until I found an open one and sat down, pulling out my sketchbook.

I pulled out my pencils, only to find that they were replaced by quills. I clenched my jaw in anger. Of course they wouldn't let me use the simplest of muggle things! I raged.

In about 10 minutes, the train started again. I felt like throwing up, seeing everything I saw in the last 2 months. I couldn't believe I just left Draco there. One of my closest friends. Salazar.

"I miss you," I whispered softly, looking through the dark windows to see green fields. I didn't know who I was saying that to.

Maybe to Nat, who I was in a desperate need for. Maybe to Draco, who I wouldn't be here without. Or maybe Blaise, who I needed to keep myself grounded to this weird, complicated, fucked up world.

I didn't know.

Creak.

Suddenly, the door opened to my compartment and I jumped up, pulling my wand out and pointed it at the door.

"Love?" the voice questioned.

I dropped my wand and staggered back, collapsing on the plush bench.

Blaise rushed forward and scooped me in his arms effortlessly.

"Love," he sighed softly, nuzzling my neck.

I choked back a sob and put on a mask of emotionlessness but still hugged him back.

Blaise looked at me closer. He sucked in a breath. "What happened to you?" he asked, grabbing my hand and massaging it.

I played with the ends of my long braid before answering. "Nothing much. Just the fact that I think I'm going insane, I have insomnia, I wasn't fed properly, I have a stupid matching tattoo with a cult, and that I'm in that said cult," I whispered.

These days, I feel like anything I speak is a whisper. Like that's all the strength I have left to do. It's pathetic.

Blaise's eyes softened and hugged me tight, kissing me on my temple. "I love you," he muttered.

I leaned into his touch. "Me too," I responded hoarsely.

We were like that for a long time. Until I had to change.

"B-Blaise. We need to change," I muttered, standing up from the bench and steadying myself.

Blaise nodded and left the compartment. But not before leaving a lingering kiss on my cheek.

As I changed, I recalled what Nat and I used to do. We would talk about our summers while we changed.

Now, I didn't even know where Nat was. It saddened me. A lot.