Ethan sat on the couch bored out of his mind. he has no friends, so he can't call anyone to hang out with. more importantly, he gets no bitches and no pussy. he begins to think of all the pussy he doesn't get and it saddens him, then arouses him. he starts to get hard in his boxers and slowly touches his gross uncircumcised cheese-smelling penis. he plays with the little unwashed flaps and twirls his two hairs (on the tip of his penis, a weird deformity) around his finger and moans. he puts down the popcorn he was eating and pauses the tv (he was rewatching tua for the 7th time) and scavenges around his kitchen before- lo and behold- he finds a jar of jelly.
it's so thick and juicy he just can't help himself. he pulls his pants down the rest of the way before putting the jelly in the microwave. he grunts in anticipation and rubs his tumor-looking penis on the side of the counter leaving whitish-yellow (YELLOW?) streaks across it. the microwave beeps. he takes the jelly out and leaves it to cool a little, seeing as he left it on for a bit too long, and runs to get the popcorn and bring it to his bedroom. he then checked the jelly's temperature again and decided it was good enough. he grabbed it and brought it to his disgusting smelling bedroom where his skid mark-covered underwear resides.
he scoops a little of the jelly onto his fingers before thrusting 2 in at a time. they got a little tangled in his ass hair and pulled a bit, but he didnt mind. he then grabbed one of the popcorn pieces and shoved it inside himself. he then took it out and ate it after deciding it was too soggy to pleasure him. he had a good idea. he looked through all the actual popcorn before finding what he wanted. kernels. he began popping them inside his anal cavity one by one and moaning as he then shat them back out. this went on for a while. he then shoved them in once more and began to caress the jar of jelly.
he inserted his penis into the jar and moaned at the tightness around his meat pillar. this was the closest to pussy he'd ever get. he screamed in pleasure and began rapidly fucking the jar before stuttering out- "I'm bout to nut.. I'm bout to BLOWWW" (brant look I'm funny) and splooging all inside the jelly. he plopped the seeds out and inside the toilet before grabbing 2 pieces of bread to make a sandwich. a jelly sandwich.
