Wolfstar Oneshots

Liar

Words: 919

Description: (I saw this idea somewhere and decided to write my version of it) au where every time someone lies, it creates a scar on their body. Remus Lupin seems like a very genuine seeming person, yet his body is covered in scars. **Warning: talks about scars a lot**

Story:

Remus is a liar. He knows it. Everybody knows it. You can tell just by looking at him. He hates that he has to lie, but it's become second nature to him. It's all he knows. Remus used to think about his scars a lot. He used to think that they were ugly, terrible things. He hated what they stood for. His mother used to preach to him how important it was for him to be honest. 

She never had many scars, just a few on her fingers, the ones you get for telling the average white lie. He envied her for that. He wished that was the worst of it. Yet he was covered in scars. And because of it, he was lonely. People tended to avoid the obvious liars. He never had friends as a kid.

Until he went to school. He met the best people there, his friends who accepted him for who he was. They saw that he was a good person despite all the lies he told. And oh did he wish he could be like Sirius Black who wore his heart on his sleeve and always spoke his mind. Sirius Black who hardly had any scars at all. His skin was almost entirely unmarked, beautiful. 

His friends could never catch him in a lie, but he'd show up with more and more scars that they weren't really sure if they could trust him. For all they knew, everything Remus said was a lie. He seemed like a very honest and good person, but he could lie like nobody's business and if it weren't for the scars, no one would ever know it.

Eventually, the Marauders decided to put their suspicions behind them and make a judgement call. Regardless of Remus's scars, they trusted him and loved him anyway.

But Remus was the only one who knew what his lies were. 

It started out as little things, little white lies that caused no harm. 

It would be a simple, "I'm fine," when his mother asked him if he was okay when it was clear he'd been crying.

The more he repeated those words, the deeper and more numerous the scars became. 

Remus hardly even realized he was saying it anymore, it had become as natural as breathing. 

"I'm fine."

"I'm fine."

"I'm fine."

It was the only lie he'd ever told. Even when he wasn't trying to convince someone else, he was trying to convince himself. Because even though he refused to let himself acknowledge it, he was hurting on the inside.

And he was an amazing liar, so nobody ever knew better when he lied to their face, the same lie over and over. Until it started to get harder and harder to convince himself that he was fine. 

Because it was getting harder to convince himself, the facade was slipping and in turn, it was getting harder to convince everyone else. 

One day, Sirius walked into the dorm to grab his Bertie Bots when he saw Remus sitting at his desk. He had a blank piece of parchment sitting in front of him and this normally would've seemed normal to Sirius, but something was off. 

"Hey, Remus, you okay?"

Remus startled, reaching up to wipe his watering eyes before he could process that the action was a dead giveaway that he wasn't.

"Yeah, I'm fine," he said as a natural response.

But for the first time Sirius saw the scar carve itself into his shoulder. He saw the edge of it where his sweater ended. And Sirius heart broke as all the pieces of the puzzle finally clicked into place.

He sat down on Remus's bed so he could face the boy still sitting at his desk. It was evident by Remus's expression that he knew he'd been caught. His face was flushed red and he wouldn't meet Sirius's eyes. 

Sirius grabbed Remus's hands and held them, searching his mind for the right words. 

"Are they...all the same lie?" He asked finally.

Remus nodded. "The worst ones are when I lie to myself," he said quietly.

"It's okay to not be fine, you know. The ones that matter won't think anything different of you, I promise. I'm not fine sometimes, either. I promise it's okay."

Remus's eyes welled with tears again and he let out a shaky breath, reaching up to wipe his eyes on the sleeve of his sweater.

"I don't know why I do it," he said. "I don't know what I'm trying to prove. I want to d-do better, but I dunno how."

"I'll help you," Sirius said, making a point to look into Remus's eyes. "One truth at a time, I'll help you."

Remus sniffled, pulling the sleeves of his sweater over his hands. "How do I stop?"

Sirius shrugged. "Just...I don't know, start with me, maybe. Don't lie to me and work up from there. And once you can be true to yourself, then you're set from there."

Remus managed a smile. "Thank you, Sirius. I don't know what I would do without you."

Sirius squeezed Remus's hands. "I would say that I could live without you, but that would be a lie."

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