𝐖𝐫𝐢𝐭𝐡𝐢𝐧𝐠 𝟏𝟎𝟏 (𝟏𝟖+)

𝐗𝐗

I sighed and licked my lips. Shit, he must think I'm some slut now, doesn't he? that I couldn't keep my legs closed. There's nothing wrong with being a slut, I heard, but the disappointment I brought onto Adil had me questioning. When have I ever hurt someone by my affiliations with another person? never. This is the first and in the name of my best, this'll be the last.

"Adil, don't compare," I shook my head, "Keenan's a jerk," I said.

Even though he and Janella don't love each other, they have some odd type of commitment. He knew that Jan and I were starting to become friends and that there was a possibility of ruining a blossoming friendship. Keenan's not the only one to blame. It takes two to tango, I know, but he could've been less selfish. Even if Adil and I weren't really together during all the prior weeks, Keenan knew that there was something going on. He thought that Adil and I were fucking, and somehow that pushed him harder to get me into bed? All those times, whenever he touched me, he thought that I was cheating on Adil, and he was totally fine with it?

As long as Keenan gets what he wants, he doesn't care about other people compromising. Sounds like a psychopath to me. My mind went back to the night he told me that Adil is manipulative. Adil's not manipulative. Keenan is. For a second, I wanted to stomp back upstairs and part with a slap to his gorgeous fucking face.

Adil scoffed, "A jerk, huh?" he bit his lip, glanced to the side, and brought his focus back to me when he thought of his next words, "He is. He's a jerk, but instead of getting mad at him, I'm just worried about you. You shouldn't be with a jerk."

"I'm not gonna be with a jerk," I took a step forward, "I'm gonna be with you. If you'll still let me."

The words hung in the air between us. They drifted through Adil's ears and he took time for internal debate. After gaining sense for my statement, he spoke again, "But is that what you want?" he wondered, voice thick with the familiar concern that always made me feel warm. The fact that this man is putting me first is only one of the many reasons why I shouldn't have let him down.

"That's what I want," gingerly, I took Adil's hand. It was warm against mine, heat penetrating my palm when I intertwined our fingers together. I would've questioned my actions had my guilt not driven me into making his comfort my sole concern, "I said we'd try after the program, and the program's over."

"Are you really sure, Gianna?" Adil raised both brows, anticipating my answer through thick black lashes, "Maybe you're just saying this 'cause you're guilty. I don't need your pity, we really weren't together."

Without missing a beat, I answered, "I'm sure."

Adil sighed audibly. He squeezed my hand once, "Think about it. I don't want you pressured into anything. Plus, he's Keenan."

"I'm never seeing Keenan again, Adil," I refrained from rolling my eyes. Fuck, I really did give him a new insecurity.

He held his hands up defensively, "Just think about it. You have my number, we can talk when our heads are clear. I can wait... again."

I already made my decision. I doubt that dwelling more in my shame would draw me away instead of drawing me in. To reassure Adil, however, I found myself agreeing to call him. Understanding men are hard to find. He's a contrast from Keenan who rules off people as stupid just because he's not open for carping. Shit. I wanted to hit my head with a frying pan for once again comparing. Maybe Adil's right—I should lay off and settle things on another day, preferably a day when I've removed Keenan out of my system. When that damn mentor popped into my head, it triggered a train that ended at the fraction of a night we shared. He thought that Adil knew about us.