Bad Reputation | S.M.

Chapter 89

I was about to walk away when he grabbed my hand and I quickly pulled it back, furrowing my eyebrows as to why he would grab me. 

"I'm glad you're okay." He stuttered and I just scoffed, turning around to walk away. 

"How are you?" He awkwardly asked and I frowned, turning around hastily, making him jump. 

"How am I?" I nearly barked at him."You have a lot a nerve asking me that you know." 

"How are you?" He awkwardly asked and I furrowed my eyebrows, turning around, confused as to why he cared . 

"How am I?" I growled, letting out a nervous laugh. "You have a lot of fucking nerve asking me that." 

"Nicole I-" He began, but I stopped him. 

"After three years you want to talk and explain yourself? Well I don't want to hear it," I shook my head, breathing uneasily. "Why should I? When you didn't even care to listen to me or let me explain myself. You just made me out to be some monster that had a personal vendetta against you and your family! I was just a girl who made a lot of shitty mistakes in her past, but that's not me. Those mistakes don't make me who I am and I damn well have grown from them. I not her anymore, I am me, so don't come to me trying to explain how sorry you are, you lost that right when you decided not to love me anymore." 

He stood there, quiet like a little kid who was getting scolded. 

"I'm just so sorry." He simply said and I felt sick to my stomach. 

"No, I'm the one who should be sorry because I don't trust or love a lot of people, but I guess when I chose to trust you and when I chose to love you, I made a huge mistake." I ended the conversation as I felt the tears well up in my eyes. I turned around walking away before hearing his voice one more time. 

"I read the article you know." He said and I stopped in my tracks. "I just wanted you to know, I read it." 

"And it still didn't change anything did it." I looked over my shoulder. "Because look at where we are." 

I walked away and went back into the room where Tanya and Elijah were sitting waiting for me, surprised looks on their faces. I let a deep breath out, shocked that I actually confronted him the way I did. I sat in between them and they both hugged me as I sat there feeling defeated.

"You did the right thing." Tanya said and I nodded. 

"I know I did, it feels right, but-" I paused, not wanting to say it. 

"But what? He needed to hear that." Tanya shrugged as Elijah shook his head knowing  what I meant.

"But now she has to apologize." 

"Apologize for what?!" Tanya stood up and furrowed her eyebrows, throwing her hands up in the air. 

"In AA there are steps you have to follow, the eighth step is seeking amends or else it will haunt you and cause you to relapse." I sighed. "I apologized to him in the article, sure, but I never asked for forgiveness face to face. And now after I blew up in his face I need to ask for forgiveness." 

"I'm sorry, but AA is dumb." Tanya scoffed and Elijah and I chuckled. 

"Let's just go yeah?" I asked and Elijah nodded. 

"I'll drop you guys off." 

"No it's fine Tanya, we'll grab an uber, you stay and mingle." I said and she shook her head. "It's fine, trust me." I smiled and went up to hug her. 

"Thank you guys for coming at least, sorry about everything." She shrugged. 

"Well before passing out and everything I had fun."